Optimistic Nut

If you look carefully, you can see Shearer ever so slyly move his leg from the path of the ball so as not to charge it down.

"Woop, banter" "No, it's not banter".

Yeah, he tries tell Gervais about how in the "olden times", they asked a man set to be executed to walk in a straight line after he had been beheaded. When told about how given an infinite amount of time, a set of monkeys could re-write a Shakespeare story due to every eventuality being typed, he came out with, "But how can a monkey remember what he's just typed, and what about when they change shifts". Great watch.

Good point. I put it to you, Optimistic Nut, that this isn't a true story AT ALL. 35552[/snapback] Hmmm, Now you come to think about it, it does sound a bit dodgy. Are you Dan Brown & Sherlock Holmes' love child? 35573[/snapback] More like Gordon Brown and Eamon homes physically 35575[/snapback]

Or maybe because they already play in the best league in the world?

Good point. I put it to you, Optimistic Nut, that this isn't a true story AT ALL. 35552[/snapback] Hmmm, Now you come to think about it, it does sound a bit dodgy. Are you Dan Brown & Sherlock Holmes' love child?

I personally think we should keep Souness now. But if he's to leave, Hitzfeld, Le Guen (who both rejected Dynamo Kiev last week), Deschamps, Ranieri, etc. are the types we should be looking at. Not fooking Bruce, Allardyce & O'Neill.

A lady walks into a bar and see's a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he's drinking. "Magic Beer" He says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one worth talking to, so she goes back to the man at the bar and says; "That isn't really magic beer is it?" "Yes I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. The lady cant believe it, "I'll bet you can't do that again" He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the windows, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a magic beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having" She gets her drink, takes a gulp of beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, You're a real arsehole when you're drunk!"

Didier Deschamps has just resigned as Monaco manager.

From what I've seen of Luque when I was in Spain, if he can adapt over here, he'll be one of the best players in the league. It's whether he can adapt which will be the big problem. He'll need at least a full season to adjust.

It's been a while since we've seen one like that! The last 18 months or so, they've generally been scuffed into the wall or wide, or saved easily. Let's hope yesterday was a return to the good old days.

I know. Just like the time he resisted giving Fulham & Fenerbahce a few extra million pound and sent a couple of million Euros to Spain instead.

1- N'Zogbia 2- Given 3- Faye

But the players he's keeping out (Silvestre, Squillachi, Givet & Mexes) are not rubbish now.

Ray Wilkins & David Batty roled into one, except without the passing, tackling & shooting ability.

Now if he'd only helped set up Milner like that a couple of months ago, we'd be right up the table.

I think he will be here until at least the New Year. We have a brilliant chance to shoot up the table in the next couple of months.

"Giz the f*cking armband"

And he has much better players at his disposal now after his own transfer activity. I reckon he should at least be given a chance with those players.

Once upon a time, there was a poor sod with a wooden eye. He obviously had low self-esteem and had no luck with the ladies. One night he was at the bar with one of his mates, and he spotted a good looking lady with a wooden leg. "Why don't you go over to her mate? She'll obviously understand". So the man with the wooden eye plucks up the courage to talk to her, very nervous though. "W-w-w-would you like to dance with me?" The woman with the wooden leg was thrilled. "Would I!" she replied. "Oh well f*ck off yourself you wooden legged bitch".

Will someone ban her?

Souness did that with Blackburn in two consecutive seasons after bringing a Blackburn back into the Premiership who were in turmoil going nowhere fast after the sad death of Jack Walker & under the "guidance" of Brian Kidd...and he won them a cup.