The Fish

It's clearly Nathaniel Felan, 3rd Humper for the Idaho Jibberjabbers

I'm enjoying the enjoyment that fans of other clubs are enjoying at his struggles.

Why would they? He had no impact on the game at all.

English press do like to pop a younger player on a pedestal. Makes them a more exposed target when the time comes to take them down. I guess it comes down to the following for me: Bellingham's behaviour was poor and he should be criticised, but it's been made a way bigger issue because of the colour of his skin. I get what Wright is saying about "uppity" black men, but I think there's something English about not reacting well to any kind of boastfulness. When Rooney was in his pomp and strutting around, he got pelters, so too did Beckham. Kane doesn't get that because he's understated, even his celebration is a muted half jump, half fist pump thing. I'm stepping way out onto the thinnest tip of the ledge of Talking About Stuff I Know Little About here but, I wonder if black British men idolize black American stars and try to emulate their swagger? A swagger that doesn't translate across the pond?

Fuck 'em, we might have been more willing to trade if they hadn't waded in for Trafford in the summer. But surely there's no benefit to giving them our best right back (and second best left back) for a 'keeper that may be available on the cheap soon anyway.

Yeah, pretty much. The clubs who already earn the most can continue to spend the most. Those who want to show ambition on the pitch have to grow their revenue off it at least as quickly. Those whose ambitions are limited to just plodding along won't be overtaken by the suddenly rich.

Narrator: No, no they haven't really. PSR is out! SCR is in! PSR (Profit and Sustainability Rules) limits cumulative losses of £105m over 3yrs. “Don’t lose too much money overall.” SCR (Squad Cost Ratio) limits player spending at 85% of revenue + player trading profits. “Don’t spend too much of your income on the squad.” No Anchoring which will come as no surprise to anybody.

Honestly I see only two realistic options; 1. youth prospects (so younger even than 21 and 23yr olds Hall and Livramento?!) 2. experienced Premier League fullbacks, happy to sit on the bench and help out now and then (so someone like Matt Targett would be perfect...)

There's a mess of reasons why we're struggling. Joelinton being below par, Gordon being below par, Hall missing. All of those things expose Burn and compound upon each other. e.g. If Gordon was flying, we wouldn't notice how Burn struggles against pace because the two opposition players on that flank would be pressed back. If Joelinton was his wrecking ball best Gordon wouldn't need to do so much defensive work and Burn wouldn't be expected to contribute up the business end.

Allardyce played three defensive midfielders against that Derby side, iirc.

You take a Harvey Dent approach to capitalisation, don't you?

Hasn't this been an unsubstantiated rumour for a while?

I do think a little bit of grace has to be given to him, he was asked to be a striker early doors, then back to being a wideman, but not the wideman he was used to playing, and without the support he'd usually get from the fullback. Also, the left sided midfielder he gets support from is having a shitter as well, so...

I think there's a few things at play here and they're all intertwined. Saying we haven't raised the ceiling since Tonali is a valid criticism, but we also needed to raise the floor and it could be argued that this was a more pressing concern. And to be fair we have tried to do that. Ramsey is an upgrade on Longstaff, Ramsdale an upgrade on Dubravka and Thiaw on Schar. Elanga hasn't done anything impressive yet, and obviously neither has Wissa. Woltemade... is he an upgrade on Isak? I doubt it, he may turn out to be a more important player to the more possession based style we're heading towards, but he's not the predatory striker Isak was. So the foundation of the squad is better than it was a few seasons ago, but we're significantly weaker in other areas, either through personnel or performance. We have to raise the ceiling and raise the floor. And we can't do both at the same time because of PSR. We're trying to morph from one style to an almost diametrically opposed style. And we need a lot of time on the training ground to achieve this, which we didn't get in the window and can't do now with 2 games a week. We're juggling 3 (soon to be 4) competitions. And we don't have the squad to do this. Or at least Howe doesn't have faith in the squad for this. Our summer window was disrupted again. And we lacked leadership in the boardroom to navigate it. Our boardroom remains in a state of confusion and flux. And the ownership are too slow in reacting to sort it out. Mitchell leaving prior to the window meaning we're rudderless going into a pre-Champions League window, the Isak saga starting in June and continuing until deadline day, every signing is overshadowed by the Isak nonsense, we're overpaying for the likes of Elanga, Wissa and Ramsey. So we start the season under a cloud, a cloud which is darkened by good performances reaping scant reward due to having no fit striker at the club. Then as those good performances tire out our good players we starting performing badly and the pressure rises. It's all very frustrating.

That's what Julius Caesar thought. Like, famously.

I'm waiting for SORA to get good enough to AI the Rat out of every frame. Replace him with David Dickinson for all I care.

Post-Ides

It's just stringy cauliflower. I've said she can eat as little meat as she likes but I just love sausage. I want it in me. Andouille, Bratwurst, Cumberland, those are the A,B,Cs of me baby. (I like that line because it suggest those orcs are familiar a la carte dining)

Mostly the war crimes.

That's my point though. You're reading that as a reasonable, considered, sweet summer child. Take a sidestep to the right and imagine you're a republican voter, now take another sidestep and you're a speech attending Republican, now another and you're a Trump fan, now another step to the right and you're into the QANON and conspiracy shit. Now read it again and tell me that it doesn't stir the buckshot in your loins. The aim, and result of Trump giving that speech was crystal fucking clear. If the BBC had any stones about them they'd tell Trump to heave fucking ho and take his shitty Golf Courses with him.

Just a lot of conversations about moving to a more plant-based diet. "Do we really need chorizo? Why not jackfruit with some paprika on it?"

You're not wrong. But I've gone from Sofa to So Fahkin' sexy because of kids and a semi-vegetarian wife.