Offshore Toon

He's here until his contract runs out, I'd imagine.

Luque didn't seem to link-up well with other players, which is quite worrying.

Yeah, I'd love Boupa Diop. He'd be on the back of at least one of my shirts.

Shepherd really is a complete wanker. He called us a "hobby" as well. Little prick.

No I am a student. I hope I can get a job like that when I'm at Uni.

That's not bad at all. Do you have another job?

You should demand triple-pay.

Do you get double pay or something for working nights?

That's pretty damn quality.

If we got Malbranque and £3m, I would be jumping for joy.

If he made the effort on the pitch, he wouldn't be in the position that he is now.

It could do. We can't have two very attack-minded full-backs, otherwise we'll go back to leaking in very poor goals.

I'd take him, as long as we brought in a defensive right-back. By that I mean somebody who won't go running forward all the time like Riise would.

Our problem, defensively, is that our full-backs would roam forward with no plans to track back afterwards, which would leave people like Bramble, who is bad enough with support, running in and just sliding in aimlessely. We need well-rounded full backs, not just players who fly forward.

I think he's been at them for the last season. Always liked him as a player, scored an absolute screamer against ManU . Also like the fat, rat-faced fella Chelsea had on loan 2 seasons ago. Portugese lad. Maniche? He's at Atletico now.

The goal against Fulham was quality.

It's very high up on Google, which is how I found it.

Nothing gets past The Times. Truly the voice of the people.

I've been doing that since year 10, and it makes me late most of the time. It's still worth it. Nothing like a shower wank. A tragic shame to waste a stiffy. A tragic shame to get fired for walking around with one.

Kanye West (Co written by Daft Punk) - Stronger.

I've been doing that since year 10, and it makes me late most of the time. It's still worth it. Nothing like a shower wank.

I keep getting them in work at the moment, probably due to the fine piece of ass sitting next to me.

Did you ask a question, then?

It was a premeditated review. The game better be as good as I said it was, otherwise I'll look stupid.

Which just so happens to be an absolutely awful programme.