Row Z

It's difficult to know what the chances are as you don't know what Hull and Sunderland will do between now and the end of the season. My gut feeling is Hull will nick a result from somewhere, they might even take something from Man United on the final day. Sunderland have a tough run in and could yet be dragged back down, it's concievable West Brom could beat them which would then leave them in big trouble One thing is for sure we need to win at least 2 home games and either win at Villa Park or win all 3 home games. I've already writted off Anfield. I still think we'll do it. I think we'll get something on the final day and that will be enough, just.

As a fellow scotsman i'll translate.... "I say sir, I'm inclined to believe that should be a penalty kick! Would you care for a brief exchange of opinions after the match?" I may be paraphrasing slightly.

I still think we'll stay up, maybe i'm just being unrealistic but I think we'll win at least 2 home games and then a draw or a win at Villa Park on the last day to secure safety amid joyous scenes. Hull might not win another game, but i'll be more worried if they're playing an under strength Man United on the final day. 9 points will be enough, 7 points might even do it as long as we keep our goal difference under control. I think Shearer would stay on in a major shake up in the summer.

Unfortunately Chelsea winning may have a knock on effect in terms of the relegation battle. Guess who'll be fielding a team of youngsters against Sunderland on the final day... Having said that it may be we need to concentrate all our efforts on catching Hull who have a hard run in, they are basically in freefall. They're certainly catchable.

Sir Alex Ferguson's launched another attack on Benitez http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/

Would leave Hull 4 points above us with 5 games to go (presuming we get nowt at spurs). Looking at their run in, they're certainly catchable, especially if they don't beat Stoke. When was the last time they won a game? Must have been ages ago. I can see them not winning any more matches, unless they play someone with nothing to play for by that time, Bolton perhaps. And for some reason i think Sunderland might beat Chelsea on the final day if they need to. So yes I think we should hope for a Sunderland win Edit: I'm also having nightmares about Hull beating an under strength Man Utd side on the final day to secure safety

Does anyone else think it's better if one team wins this so we can concentrate on overhauling the loser?

I think that's a great point. It's all working out according to my predictions on the BBC predictor 2 wins and 2 draws from 6 games will be enough. I've already written off the Spurs game mind.

I reckon all the sex with supermodels must detract from football once you become a professional, especially a world start like Adriano. He doenn't need the money, and wants to live out his life in luxury doing sweet FA. Sounds great! I bet he would miss football if he gave it up though.

They would still get some wrong though. Some incidents need 10 replays in slow motion and opinion is still divided. What if a ref made an incorrect decision that sent a club down having consulted a video replay! The game would descend into farce. Leave the refs to get on with it. They get some wrong but nobody complains when their team scores an offside goal or a dodgy pen. The blame culture is always to blame to officials though, never the players and manager.

Just looking at this makes me think how I used to think. Getting over 70 points was a good season, getting over 60 was acceptable but average, getting between 50 and 60 wasn't great, between 40 and 50 a really bad season, and under 40 a catastrophic season. Relatively yes, but I'm sure we'd all be oiling the baseball bat at the thought of a 16th place finish this season. Interesting also to see most people tipping Villa for 4th place. Bad for us if they need a win on the final day, even though i've factored in a loss for that one, it would be good if they had Fuck All to play for.

Same as mine. By my calculations, we will be safe on 37 with Hull going down on Goal difference behind Sunderland. Thats assuming we beat Fulham and Portsmouth and draw with Stoke and Middlesborough. Losing to Liverpool, Spurs and Villa on the final day will be ok, providing the mackems don't beat Chelsea and Hull don't beat Man U!!

My thoughts also. By my calculations, we just need to be slightly less shit than them until the end of the season to make up the 3 point defecit.

What a load of rubbish, Torres and Fabregas don't seem to have found it that difficult. If they're good players, who cares where they come from. I could name you quite a few shit Scandanavians if you want?

Primarily yes although I doubt he would have done it for nothing. Looking at his interview he look prepared to run through brick walls to keep us up. It's a shame he's hung up his boots really.

He's not poor, but who wouldn't want £2m for 8 weeks work. Would he have taken the job at Bolton/Hull/Portsmouth for the same money though? Probably not. The fact he's a Newcastle fan must have swayed him.

We've signed most of the players i hate. Joey Barton - Complete scumbag chav, annoying tosspot, brother of a murderer, and a millionairre. Ameobi - Utter shite, earns 40k a week and has an endless conveyor belt of outragous birds to shag Bramble - enough said. Ever since he scored against us and then later turned into a quality defender i hate him even more Viduka - Seriously was this guy born injured? 60k a week, a complete wage theif. Didier Drogba - 6ft 2" of drama queen. Always playing up to the cameras. Sums up everything thats wrong with modern day football. There are probably more but I can't be bothered typing them all. Not surprised to see players like Gerrard and Ronaldo appearing on the list but I don't grudge them anything as they're world class. It's the half baked prima donnas earning £3m a year that fucks me off.

They've probably doubled their salary so not a bad move i'd say.

I'm not sure what people expect him to say. "Nolan sure Newcastle will go down" wouldn't be a very good headline, would it. Seems some players get stick no matter what and some players are the darlings of the fans despite being fucking shite, like Martins. Did anyone feel confident at any point that he would score that pen?

At least we played quite well. Beating Arsenal was never going to be the be all and end all, but we need to beat the other struggling teams when we play them, pick up a couple of draws elsewhere, close your eyes and hope that that's enough. I'm also keeping a keen eye on the goal differences and hoping a narrow defeat at Villa Park on the final day might keep us up.

Let him go if he wants. We can re-sign Andy O'Brien from Bolton.

Am i the only one that thinks this looks absolutely hiddeous?

It would be funnier if Pardew didn't look like a total rapist.

What's the panic?

I can see us winning, although i think we might still go down.