JawD

Professor of Maths send his wife a text. "Dear wife, you are 54 years old, you can no longer satisfy my needs so when you get this I will be in my hotel with my 18 year old assistant. Im sorry and I will be home late". Wife on reading this replies "Dear husband, you are also 54 years old and by the time you get to your hotel Ill be at home with a 18 year old toyboy. You're the mathematician so you'll know that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes in 18 so don't hurry back floppy knob.

Id recommend The Dairy of Karl Pilkington with Ricky Jervais (sp?). Very funny read.

Aye, prob after eating Garlic as well.

Ive got a soft spot for Scotland and NI, though not so much Wales. Strange as I have little interest in Internationals and while Id like to see England go through, Im more concerned about the plight of our players while they are away.

Just...

Aye just look what its done to that Banana its sitting on...

Newcastle v Wigan HT: 1-0 FT: 2-0 FS: Viduka Bonus : No of goals scored by current or ex nufc players in this game: 2

Newcastle v Wigan HT: FT: FS: Bonus : No of goals scored by current or ex nufc players in this game:

Im sitting comfortably in mid table (One Dog), waiting to pounce

Aye its a shame to see nobby leave, but its fair enough really. One of my favourite players at the club over the last 10 years. But, new start for all etc under the new man. I have alot of faith in Sam and considering what we were being told last summer/winter about how hard it is to mak signings and "do deals" I think quality/£ we musy have hd one of the best windows for a long time. You can see he has started building at the back and we look much better for it. Sure, I agree like many we could do with more creativity in the centre but that will come. Lets get the back four playing well together, see how Barton slots in when he is back and so on. We do need to be patient, but Im happy with the squad given Sam hasnt been with us long and we can see us heading the right way.

Fair enough really. We've all said our bit on this now and we know while it was perhaps not the most intelligent of chants (either), it was also blown out of proportion. I wouldnt like to hear us singing it again and would much rather we came up with something more witty next time around. Even just a big "SSSHHHHHH" whenever he got the ball ...

Aboat time like....

2Hrs to go. Ish.

No its true, he is a lanky lucky twat

This?? No, thats the give-a-fuck-o-meter

Is that Peaspud at the back with Glasses on trying to look like Chris Mort?

The dont-give-a-fuckometer is well off the scale here like.

Well my colleagues and I had never heard it, and we're all older than you ffs!!!!!!!! Anyway, shouldn't you be in the pub or summat??? nope ...saving myself for tommorrow.....( and I don't get laid till then either !!) Thats how I just read that first time .....

I'm really starting to build up a Smithers & Mr Burns scenario here

10831 - Bristol Rovers 1-2 West Ham 7317 - Burnley 3-0 Oldham 10185 - Birmingham 2-1 Hereford 6150 - Cardiff 1-0 Leyton Orient 5744 - Carlisle 0-2 Coventry 8022 - Charlton 4-3 Stockport 8658 - Derby 2-2 Blackpool 4401 - Luton 3-0 Sunderland 7943 - MK Dons 2-3 Sheffield Utd (aet) 4917 - Peterborough 0-2 West Brom 5133 - Plymouth 2-0 Doncaster 2990 - Rochdale 1-1 Norwich (aet) 8502 - Portsmouth 3-0 Leeds 8751 - Sheff Wed 2-1 Hartlepool (aet) 6223 - Shrewsbury 0-1 Fulham 12027 - Swansea 0-1 Reading (aet) 5554 - Southend 2-0 Watford 5440 - Wigan 0-1 Hull 11296 - Wolves 1-3 Morecambe 8221 - Wrexham 0-5 Aston Villa 30523 - Newcastle 2-0 Barnsley 14451 - Bristol City 1-2 Man City 11686 - Boro 2-0 Northampton

No wonder it can see in the dark....

Despite the blind supporters of collingwood insurance giving the man of the match to Owen, Id say it was Cacapa. Had a fantastic game though Id like to see him get a full game against better opposition to judge properly.

While so far this season Ive often said we look like we need creativity in the midfield to create openings for the forwards, it has to be said that Sam has been working on making us difficult to beat. Well we're looking much much better at the back and he can tweak the rest moving forward. Ive certainly been impressed with his signings so far like. Was well impressed last night with Cacapa and Enrique.

Dunno if blu bamboo lets you in with a shirt in then again, they prob asked Mort to take off his suit jacket and untuck his shirt...