Kid Dynamite

Can someone explain to me how track and trace cost 37 billion bastard pounds!? Someone's managed to spend a million quid 37,000 times over and it still doesn't work Isn't it just a big IT algorithm/app with a load of agency staff ringing people who it pings up?

He was far better here than anyone expected tbf. And in modern football you're not going to find full backs that don't go past the half way line anymore. He gets caught out at the back sometimes but so do Wan Bissaka and Trent AA. Doesn't mean they are shit

I mean ...

Do you watch our games?

Looks like being a record season for lowest number of points needed to survive. I'd be surprised if any of the bottom 3 reach 30 points.

We were unlucky tonight. Take away the massive deflection and the assist off the inside of the post and it finishes 3-2 to us Willock is a fucking huge improvement on Hayden mind. Imperative that we keep him next season

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perspective_(graphical)

Contracts got exchanged about 4pm so there's no pulling out now from anyone. Should be moving on Monday all being well

You're getting personal now ...

Any parent who doesn't do that on the regular is a weirdo tbh Or has a kid infinitely more manageable than mine

I'd imagine I was far from the first person he'd shown that picture to!

You and me both! I sold most of them last year to buy a new bike and pretend I'm Flynn off Tron

I used to work with a bloke who was a cracking jackanory. His best one was that he bumped into Alan Carr on Shields beach when walking his dog and that he came back to his house for tea. I bumped into him at the funeral of a work colleague a few years back and he showed me a picture of the new car he'd allegedly bought with his lumper on retirement. It was a picture of him wearing a crash helmet in an Audi R8 on a race track experience day and he'd photoshopped his private reg on the front No word of a lie!

"Comedy Dave is a contradiction in terms"

Yeah, cancelled it at 4pm last night when we got the news. I felt bad initially but then the company were arseholes on the phone and hung up on me so that cheered me up Best part of the day was when my wife decided she wanted me to remove the sitting room light fittings. Turns out they are on the same wiring circuit as the house alarm so I had that blaring while I knocked the electric off. The battery inside the box then died, resetting the alarm code to a number I didn't know so the alarm wouldn't turn off even when I turned the electric on. Trying to field calls from solicitors, whilst dismantling furniture and unplumbing the washing machine to give away, with a house alarm going off for 3 hours until a sparky could come out and sort it had me on the verge of doing a Michael Douglas in falling down. I told the removals bloke on the phone "if you think you're having a bad day I can guarantee you mines fucking worse mate!" Probably why he hung up on me tbh

Fucking mental that their solicitor didn't think to mention this until Friday afternoon. Why would you even agree a completion date of you aren't in a position to complete?

Letter has arrived today, thank fuck. Hopefully exchange contracts today so they can't pull out and get completed on Monday! Now got to get 2 days building and contents insurance and find a removals firm at short notice!

Meant to be moving house today. Found out last night that the first buyers in the chain haven't got an ISA closing statement from their bank which they need for their mortgage funds to be released. Our broadband got turned off this morning, building and contents insurance has been cancelled, washing machine and bairns bedroom furniture was donated to charity and collected yesterday... FML Say a prayer that it gets sorted out for Monday!

It's done

The chippy next to the entrance to Croft Park has had a makeover 😍

Washington Examiner is openly conservative and publishes articles about climate change denial and how prayer mats are found at the Mexican border wall No surprise they are publishing other Trump conspiracies too

The time frame puts paid to some theories. He literally disappears off camera for a few minutes at most and then is back on camera stark bollock naked. Barely time for an altercation. And some of his clothes have never be found It's mad to me that he should have to be careful which streets he shows his face in because of which school he goes to. I know most cities have estates you pedal your bike a bit faster through but (inner city London aside) you don't tend to literally fear for your life. The lack of education in England on the Troubles is scandalous mind. Literally didn't hear it mentioned on the syllabus when I was at school in the 90s

Bad start!

Stop chatting shit then