Monkeys Fist

Bullied? We try to gently point him in the direction of a longer and healthier life. Then the lardy mess has a kebab and votes in Cameron.

Buy less pre packaged , processed shite. Start a compost bin. Suck it up , fat man.

Duck pizza. How could you miss the Duck pizza?

Racialism!

Yup, still would. More ...... http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/actresses-without-teeth?s=mobile

Farts like a tramps breath?

Ravens bring word of a gathering cloud of darkness over the Village of the Damned. Beneath the usual smell of cheesy chips, another more powerful smell is cloaking the terrible citizenry- The smell of Fear. Some seek solace in hostelries, downing endless pints of Blue Pop, but there is no escape. At the bottom of every empty jam jar or beans tin, it stares back at them. Fear. In the temples and shrines, rats and other precious items are sacrificed, but to no avail, He that they fear has no mercy. The braver souls, few that they are, whisper a warning as they scuttle from hovel to hovel. " He comes, he comes, in one Giro's time, he comes!" None dare speak his name, they call him The Dark Lord, Rattler of The Onion Bag, but we , the enlightened and the righteous, know his true name. Shola is coming.

Aye, because " pm" and " tonight" are so vague ......

Relax ...... Pardew has kept him locked in his basement since last month, feeding him nothing but Mackem children. When he's unleashed on match day I expect the earth to tilt on it's axis.

4 dates? That's "ask for anal" time. Enjoy the exhibition, I've been a fan of his for many years, but have never seen his work displayed on the scale it needs.

Jealous. Have you chosen your beeatch to accompany you?

Given the choice of lobbying for more Duck Pizza outlets for his obese constituents , or driving Thunderbird 4 and sneaking a knee trembler with Lady Penelope, can you blame him? http://m.shieldsgazette.com/news/local-news/brains-answers-call-of-international-rescue-1-5532890

Game of Tits season 3 starts on Monday. Dragons and a Zombie Army seem the order of the day. Nice.

I think I showed remarkable restraint not to scream ..... " FUCKING SULTANAS??? ARE YOU STILL AT SCHOOL MAN???" ...... as that would've been cruel.

Bet you he's fucked his stump.

Don't tell me- the fuckers refused to make you a Peking duck pizza?

I worry about you sometimes.

So Ant, what's your daily record?

Boris gets it up the arse ........ http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21916721

It can only be weeks old at best. Fast developers these half-Argentine kids