Monkeys Fist

This bloke’s knees are a yard closer together than his feet. Is it your chauffeur?

A spawny Treble top from the boy Dubravka to sneak a 0-180!!! Let’s have a look at what you could’ve won!

4. Stance like Alberto Tomba.

She’s no Priti Patel, mind.

Deep fried Patsy Kensit.

Point of order- already standing. Thangew.

I’ve just finished making a belt out all my old wristwatches. Complete waist of time.

Aye, but did Pritchards brother spend all his free time stepping over dogshit in Roker? Sometimes the benefits of a player aren’t always on the pitch , according to The Model

Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”.

Goddam it! Its Big Frank Chippa isn’t it.

Are they the poundshop Wor Flags lot? I thought they’d announced they were done after the derby that we won 3-0 without breaking a sweat? Cheeky fuckers!

Speak for yourself- I buy all my shit at Tynemouth Market.

Long throw specialist- we’ll have to get Mad Dog to give him a dead arm in the tunnel.

Price everything £5 more than you want to sell it for, then when people try to barter you can play the game and let them think they got a bargain. If they don’t barter and pay the price, sausage time!

https://tynemouthmarkets.com/traders/ You can apply on there mate. No idea of cost, but I know it’s probably one of the busiest markets in the region customerwise.

He’ll not see much sitting in Newcastle.

Wrexham were the team that put out Blyth Spartans when they made it this far back in the Dark Ages. Be nice to put them out for our scag-addled neighbours up the coast.

“ Aye lads, this is The Raby” ” What’s that? No, it’s named after the disease”.

Presumably you’ve got a ticket in the home fans and they’re in the away? After the game, switch your phone off, go to your usual watering holes, let them discover the joys of Louies Liquor Hole or whatever, then the following day switch your phone back on and ring them saying you got arrested for wearing a loud shirt in a residential area or something and have them pick you up for a lift home. Sorted 👍