Monkeys Fist

Two wind turbines, in a field. One says “ Hello mate, what kind of music are you in to?” Other one replies “ Well, I’m a big metal fan”

Got some blood test results from the doc yesterday … Doc- ” Mr. Fist, I’ve never seen this before in my career- your DNA is back to front” Me- “ And?”

About a month before he died, my uncle fell in a vat of lard. After that, he went downhill rapidly.

Bit late to the party, but I’ve just heard that Peter Yarrow, singer, songwriter (most famously for Puff the Magic Dragon), social activist and convicted (and pardoned) paedo died earlier this month. His band mates are hastily reprinting their comeback tour posters as Just Paul and Mary.

You’d hope for her husband’s sake that she’s a “lights off” kind of gal.

I wish him nothing but good luck. He’s been a great servant to the club, never in any kind of bother (that I can recall?) , never gave less than 100%. He seems like a really decent lad, I loved his response to that Beige cunt Grealish having a dig at him- say nowt, go on the best scoring run of his career. “Fuck you, you yam yam speaking, hair and having, no goal scoring, wet fart. “😂 Good luck Miggy. Fucking terrible haircut, mind.

Looks like Tino might have just sneezed.

Report them to the clam police. Inspector G O’Duck

Not as dirty as the lad who was at it before me. It was like melted mozzarella …

Looked it and it says it has multiple meanings, including edible clam and prostitute. Surely that’s just the one?

I take issue with this article tbh. They give The Beige the title of “closest pub to the ground”, quoting the Villa Tavern, which is nowhere near. The Holte is within sight of the ground, but…err… You can stumble out the door and fall in to your seat! It’s like 30m from the Corner. Fucking beige yam yam cunts

Fyamp

You’re ok, the first one looks like an alien fanny.

I’d be very surprised if he doesn’t have his own thread over there, where they’ve already psychologically gone through the elation of the honeymoon period, the inevitable slump in form, and have now decided he’s not good enough for them are wanting him sacked…

“ How to Present Your Dishes in an Appealing and Appetising Manner- Lesson 1” Not like this. It’s not even a pie hat- it’s like one of those “fascinators” daft lasses wear to the races. Tiny, pointless and probably way overpriced.

Down the side of the outdoor sofa.

I wore out this bit of the VHS tape

Alien Kirk might fancy a bit of Earthgirl minge?

CT at the news of another young Oirish lad to slaver over…

Must be AI as there’s not a dirty old man comment from Greg Wallace on the far left.

It’ll be bits of Bruce Willis from Armageddon.

Aye, but it’s very unlikely we’ll ever come across intelligent life. See the Fermi Paradox Essentially, given the almost definite chance that life exists in multiple locations throughout the universe, why haven’t we found it yet? Also, the conditions necessary to reach interstellar/galactic travel make it extremely unlikely that we’ll ever come across intelligent life capable of it, even if we get there ourselves. Chances are that any alien life capable of it have already died out or are too far away to ever reach us, given the speed the universe is expanding. It’s similar to the concept of the “observable universe”, and how we’ll never be able to get past it’s boundary. Say that we discovered the ability to travel interstellar tomorrow- if we set off on Wednesday morning, by the time we got to the edge of the observable universe , us travelling at light speed, the boundary will have moved further away from us. By the time we get to the new boundary, again, it’s fucked off a bit more. We’ll never get to it.