Monkeys Fist

This one’s going to be meatier than a butcher’s window. While we’d love to see Big Joe punting dippers in to row z with abandon, what I think is more likely, given the relative lack of any noise from Howe and the squad this week, is that he’s been drilling them like he did before we sailed past these cunts in the Final last year. “ You’ve shown you’re better than these, let’s go and do it again at home, in front of our people “ type of stuff. So 5-0 All the sausages coming from Burn, Gordon, Murphy, Schar, Bruno, Joelinton, Hall, Tonali, Adult-Botman, all with two each. Targett to leave a Paleo Diet shite steaming in the middle of their dressing room pre-match.

Gemmill… *face palm.

I think he’s a cunt, but a stupid one, not an absolute one. Nothing in the lead up to this showed him to be in the wanker category of player, it’s just weird to me that he seems to have totally 180°ed his entire professional and personal attitude in the space of a few weeks. The only reasonable explanation I can see is , instead of having the proverbial angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, he’s only had the little devil whispering in his ear.

I clearly don’t have the same experience with NUFC strikers as you. I knew my post was a potential for pelters, but it’s the only logical explanation for an insane situation I can reasonably think of. Isak’s behaviour right up to the start of all this gave little indication of the shitstorm that was on its way. Usually in cases like this it’s the inevitable end-game of a deteriorating relationship between club and player- not so with Isak. His agent/agency are known wankers. Footballers are thick as mince and have everything done for them. All points to Isak being the recipient of some of the worst career advice in history, from people who’s motivation isn’t the advancement of his career, but the increase of their bank balance. If his career is obliterated from this, they haven’t actually lost a lot of money from it, just lost a potential to make more. They’ll just move on to the next sucker. It’s more to say that if, once he’s sat down with Eddie and the squad and made his apology ( which he will do if he stays), us giving him absolute pelters from the stands will be detrimental. I totally understand anyone currently calling him worse than shite, I tend to agree, but ultimately I don’t think he’s some evil swine- just someone who has been guilty of listening to very poor advice.

Just caught up on the shite with this. It’s clear to me that Isak is totally isolated and only being advised by the worst possible people- his agents. Footballers have rarely been noted for their wisdom, and he’s a young, pampered bloke who’s had everything done for him in his career so far- need a house, club will sort it need a car, club will sort it. need a housekeeper and cook, club will sort it. So, why we expect them to have a fucking clue how to behave in situations like this is a strange one. That’s not me trying to get him off the hook, it’s just what appears to me to be the reality- he’s taken piss poor advice from people who’s primary interest is their own financial gain, not his career. And those people are his only source of advice re how to act at this moment in time. That much is clear to me, and The Statement is so obviously written by one of those “advisors”. Once the window is shut and the reality of the situation penetrates the bubble he’s in, he’ll wake up with the biggest motherfucker of a “ Oh shit “ hangover that the North East has seen in a quite some time. That’s when Eddie and his teammates will have the option of bringing him back in, gradually, or fucking him off to purgatory. They’ll all have experienced, in one form or another, agents being less than honest with them, maybe not to this extent, but you get my point, and so I’d say they’re less likely than us to totally hang him out to dry. Also, if the Gaffer is telling them that he’s back in the squad, they’ll listen. All of which is to say, whilst his behaviour has been reprehensible, I don’t think it’s entirely driven by him alone, and I also don’t think he’ll be the pariah of the squad for too long. TLDR: Agents are cunts.

One I took a few years back…

He looks like a character from Cyberpunk 2077, specifically, a Joy Toy

Bang on. Their idea of “sunderland” is a totally arbitrary construct that’s younger than my foreskin. The regional and social history of this song and story is something that these fucking dipshits would struggle to conceive, if you could be arsed to try and explain it them. Just because some bearded fuck with more tattoos than brain cells decides to make a net curtain based on The Lambton Worm, doesn’t make it theirs Like so much of their “history”, it’s invented bullshit. Had anyone ever heard of the Black Cats before they decided that was their nickname? Had they fuck- made up bullshit. Have they ever actually sang the Lambton Worm at any of their games? Have they fuck ( even if they have, once, it’s hard to hear 30 people singing over the noise of crisp packets and toilet roll clattering around the empty stands). Some of their more sentient mob will inevitably point to us singing The Blaydon Races and screech, ” Whey marra, it’s abewt a ‘orse race in Blaydon- nowt to dae with the Maggy bastids. ‘Istoricallewy, Blaydon was part of Cowenty Durham under the Vikings, so it’s ackshwelly a sunlin’ song! FTM” We’ve sung this at SJP and around the grounds for almost as long as the song has existed, and started because one of the jockeys in the original races was a huge NUFC fan. It mentions specific places in Newcastle … … the best they can muster about The Lambton Worm is that the river is the Wear, but let’s be honest, sunlin’ is neither the oldest, most well known, or most historic “city” on the Wear - Derrum would like a word. Rant over, fucking polydactyl mutants can fuck off

Charity shops have standards- I’d say the binmen will e hefting heavier loads in the next week or so.

Sorry to bang on about my Grandad, but when my Dad was on his way out with brain cancer, one of the ways it affected him was that he lost a lot of inhibitions- one of which was that he told me about my Grandad, when he was dying, wanting to make it clear he wasn’t a coward. This was about him not being allowed to go to war in WW2, since he was a miner and it was as protected occupation- vital to the country’s ability to produce weapons and goods for the war effort. Still, it apparently played on his mind for the rest of his life. I don’t think he was unique in that respect, either, since so many men in the North East would’ve been in the same boat. He, and all his fellow miners, worked 12hr shifts underground, for 6 and a half days a week, hand hewing coal to keep the country and the war effort running, yet he felt he’d somehow been less of a man than those who actually fought. I think this explains a lot of issues that happened here and in other coal producing areas of the UK in the post-war years, and, please correct me if I’m wrong, but the miners never really got the recognition for that effort that they perhaps should have? Anyway, fuck these Morlock muppets, The Lambton Worm is not a sunderland song, it’s a bit of North East folk history and fuck then for trying to appropriate it.

Probably closer than you’d think. Late 30s, might even be his 40th night out ( it was taken in the Cross Keys in Washy Village, which was his local )

re. The morlocks trying to claim The Lambton Worm as theirs Seriously though, they can fuck right off. My Grandad Jimmy used to sing this to me and my brother when we were kids* He was a Washington born and bred miner, black and white through and through, and he had the most incredible Durham miners Pitmatic dialect. I can still hear it in his voice every time, he’d roll his R’s similarly to Northumbrian dialect, and him and the song are indivisible to me. So, aye, these fucking idiots thinking it’s theirs because they’ve hung some shitty net curtains is laughable. * he’d also tickle us while he sang it, which was one of those love/hate things. Loved the song, loved being tickled, but… … he was a miner, his fingers were like rods of fucking titanium, which he’d sometimes forget, and then it knacked. He was some boy- 5’. 1” ( at best) wiry as fuck, and even in his dotage he was a handsome bastard. Looked a bit like Jim Dale from the Carry-On movies, if he’d had a kid with young Vladimir Putin Have a guess how old he was in this pic?

Two pair beats three of a kind… ( fuck off Craig and KCG -it’s a joke … a shit one, aye, but…)

No it isn’t.

A sizeable portion of the board are now on the phone to their mentors saying, ” 6 weeks/months/years sober and fucking Lee Ryder-lite just casually drops the fucking bomb!” I’ve just pulled up outside Sainsburys to get some gear for my daughter to bake with.… Plain flour Unsalted butter 6 cans Half dozen eggs Cocoa powder

Is this a deleted line from that Urethra Franklin song?

Aye, never mind about Pembroke, tbh. I reckon you should sign up to a summer school and learn English

That’ll be five, when you include the actual cup finals…

We need to Neep this in the bud.

Close your 300 failed porn access tabs.

Pembrokeshire coast in SW Wales Pick up the A5 at Wrexham and take your time through Wales, head coastwards halfway down and then hit Pembroke. Call in and stay with @thebrokendollon the way back, I’m sure he’d love to hear all your tales of the road