Monkeys Fist

I asked a chef in Ashington if he liked cooking with herbs, but he said he preferred the oven. Baking was my specialty so he asked me to show him some fancy loafs. I did a plait and said “ There you go, that’s a Braid” He said “ Ner, it’s dough until you cook it”

Aye, there’s a sharp left on North Seaton Road and a sweeping right on Briardene.

That’s you in the background of Robinx2’s gif.

In light of the news that thebrokendoll is dressing up as Jerry Garcia again, and the fact that these cunts are above Manure (but don’t mention that to their gaffer), I’m going to break from my usual prediction and say Well dry hump these, 5-0

Ffs. And yes, I quoted myself.

@RobinRobin Finally, you have a kindred spirit

Guessing Tripps is taking the photo?

Will a Doner , with extra everything, and 8 Ace do?

For an AI bloke, that lad is the absolute image of my brother’s mate. It’s quite spooky tbh. Here’s a fannied on with pic of him

I thought he meant his sex life is extinct and he can’t scratch his own arse.

It is Scott, aye. I was wondering who the geezer in the hat was… honestly thought Gibbo was dead or living on a park bench somewhere His liver certainly is.

They’re all Peter White.

Missed the game due to shifts. Can someone summarise how well or not we played, preferably in the style of the Trinity Mirror Group Regional Sports Journalist of 2014?

“Crime won’t crack itself!” Early Doors was superb.

I’m going to miss this as I ‘ll be kipping. so. In a break from tradition, I’ll celebrate the humping we’re going to hand out now. 5-0 ‘appen…

Also, whilst swerving the standers v filthmongers debate, @LondonBlue has potentially opened another civil war with the pissing question?

Keegan and Howe, whilst vastly different in terms of personality and methods, are both in the same bracket for me as far as club standing is concerned. Keegan’s managerial achievements here are rightly revered- it was his first management job, and he took us from the brink of oblivion to the brink of ecstasy. It can’t be overstated how he utterly transformed this club -yes, SJH’s money was a necessary factor, and he deserves some credit, but without Keegan none of it would have happened. The sheer joy and pride he instigated, not just in the club but about the city in general, was incredible and we’re still reaping the benefits of it. Given the precarious position we were in when he came, to do it by employing a stingy, defensive approach would’ve been eminently sensible and understandable. But, no - fuck that! He virtually wrote the definition of cavalier football- “ ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK!” Ultimately, for a multitude of reasons, he didn’t get us that elusive trophy we absolutely deserved under him, but… … It doesn’t matter. His place in our history is assured and thoroughly deserved. I fucking love the bloke. Eddie came in with the club in a similar situation at first- The Cabbage had sucked any joy out of both the fans and the players, and we were only heading in one direction- that’s not even open to debate. The joy of the takeover was very much tempered by the stench of Bruce stinking up the place, until he got ditched. If we’re honest, most of us were probably a little underwhelmed when Eddie was announced as gaffer, and the players he inherited were so unfit, uninterested and uncoached it’s no surprise he struggled to get the first win under his belt, but then… …in four months from him taking over, he got us 20 points from 14 games, finished 11th, becoming the first team in PL history not to be relegated having not won their first 14 games. Like Keegan, he gave us back the pride and the joy of not only our club, but our city. He’s done it differently, but no less remarkably- his transformation of BUJ07 from a figure of ridicule in to FUCKING THANOS remains for me his greatest achievement so far, but he’s gone about transforming the club, the players, our style, our respect and standing, and crucially, our expectations in a manner that no one else but Keegan has done. The thing that excites me about Howe is that I totally believe his best is yet to come with us. Keegan’s place in our hearts is cemented in and assured, Howe’s has absolutely rock-solid foundations but is still being built on. And I fucking love the bloke.

This is one of those words that’s totally flipped its meaning* in a very short time. As said above, it used to mean being aware of social justice and supportive of those in need of it. Now? “ Would you like eggs or pineapple with your overdone GAMMON!!!” Fascinating stuff, language. * this is not strictly correct tbh, it’s meaning remains the same, but its usage is what’s done a 180° flip.

No I wouldn’t.

Have you tried making train noises as you bring the fork to his mouth? Worked for my nippers.

Nice one @aimaad22 Congratulations to you and Mrs. Aimaad.

Just been out and done an emergency repair on the fence- the screws holding it (via brackets) to the wall all blew out! Whacked some dowels in the holes, and screwed it back on… ffs

It was aye, the worst was that they didn’t all blow off, so I was out there in my PJ’s ready to catch them if they blew off whilst young shaver was scrambling up on their roof. I’m due in at 10pm and heading South East, so I’ll be keeping an eye on it.