Monkeys Fist

Aye, put her in a taxi queue and watch the white knight costume run away from Wideopen Sutcliffe here. Have you asked her yet? Why not?

Aren’t you glad you found us savages?

Weird accent- posh southerner with northerners “oo” sounds. Someone ask her to say “ Poot it in my boooty” in the comments. ( I’m asking, no, telling, you to do it @Gemmill ).

Bollocks man! Stick Big Jamal on as striker from KO First corner we get, hoy him on off the bench, this 6’6” mad Eric and Big Dan Burn waiting in the box will have Leeds Frimponging all over the pitch. Bring him off later if he’s knacked and have a curry wurst and chips waiting for him in the dugout. He’ll get a proper welcome from the fans, probably score a couple , and a handy shandy off that daft bint from TF at full time. Welcome to Newcastle United son!

Not too shabby at all when it’s laid out like that. Just shows how much the rancid behaviour of Hypocrites FC and the treachery of the Turnip have utterly overshadowed everything else club-related this summer. If we can get Wissa, I’d be over the moon , but, even though I can see the cold business behind shifting him, I hope we fuck Isak and the Scouse cunts off, at least until January. They aren’t coming in with £150m and we don’t need to accept anything less. Fuck ‘em both

Sandals for everyday wizardry, Oxfords for business.

Ftmd yp

Fyp.

Are forgetting he’s this Sceptered Isle's leading wizard?

He’s definitely a wizard’s sleeve

Was this @Howmanheyman’s first account on here?

Carabao Cup highlights. ITV4. Midnight

Shouldn’t that planet thingy be on the astronomy page?

Aye, he’ll be used to dealing with shite.

Dunno mate, lost count after the keepers tbh

12-11

Gone.

Not enough sexy foreign wenches, innit?

GTFO!

My lass was obsessed with buying his line of birthday cards when I first met her.

Pics or gtfo.

I wouldn’t bother- 90% of them are shite

Wasn’t it Dexys Midnight lads that did the theme tune?

The lad on the right- Karl Howman.… Noice!

What’s the fastest part of fitting a carpet in Mexico? The underlay. Why was the Mexican popping Xanax? For Hispanic attacks.