Monkeys Fist

I think of all the acts of extreme Britishness that we’ve seen over the past however long it is since she died, ( a week, a month, a year, feels like it), people standing in a TWO AND A FUCKING HALF MILE queue takes the cake. They all look like absolute husks. It’s glorious

I’m struggling to understand what happened there- a bloke is in his own car, which stuck, calls for help, and is surrounded by armed police. He says he’d rather not get out of his vehicle, thanks, and so they shoot him. At what point did he commit a crime here? I hear the cops say he’s got a knife, the armed cops, who are surrounding the bloke, who doesn’t leave his car. So they shoot him dead.

I was expecting it to be to this , tbh, tbs.

It was

Lee Scratch Perrystroika.

If you’re not wearing plus-fours and pink knitwear I’m going to be severely disappointed in you, Thomas.

Keep ‘em in a briefcase.

Can’t you read? He died from a toad poison induced heart attack during a shamanic ritual in a Jamaican shaman’s basement in Moscow. Happens all the time.

Whoa whoa whoa! Back up a bit- Lionel Blair’s dead????? When was this? Did I miss the 10 day mourning period? I know he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea but he was a decent PM in my book…

Speak for yourself David, nothing weak about my thunderbox.

That first one of the West Stand takes me back. My Dad used to take me and my brother to games in the 1970s and we’d go in there, me and Bro Fist right down at the front, literally pitch level, and Da Fist would usually be up by the wall in the middle. I remember looking over at the Leazes end and being terrified, , in my defence I was only 5-6yrs old.

Funnier if someone had flattened it with a frying pan.

I had an arse inspection booked at my doctors on the 19th, got a text telling me that out of respect for her Maj, no bumholes will be getting the magic touch. Spoilt my week tbh.

Flagshagitis.

How many of the guards will faint over the four days? I’ll go for three.

If anyone doesn’t fancy standing in a moving stream of rancid piss, the BBC are spending time and resources on a live stream of a wooden box. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62900500

I was just thinking, given the number of aging digestive tracts in that queue, it’s going to be fucking lifting.

You put your Leftist in Your Leftist out In, out, in, out, Shake it all about Oh Wokey Cokey Cokey! Sing it with me boys, don’t be shy.

Potatoes… … Bubble and Squeak?

If you knew anything about Guinea Pigs, you’d know they’re the most left-leaning and progressive of the rodents.

Johnson’s comments as he finished his resignation speech, (the Terminator quote), the strong rumour going round that he wants to stage a comeback, and then, when Lizzy died, him giving that speech in the Commons, all contribute to distinct feeling of unease. That, and the fact that he knows Truss will be gone quicker than the Christmas decorations.

And the other part is because they know what they’re fighting for- their home. Morale and purpose are huge motivators.