Monkeys Fist

But not more gram flour…

Following the fireball the other day , my nephew was on Radio Newcastle discussing it https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0cvkl08?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile Starts at 2:40:00 with a Duran Duran song halfway through.

They should have Sean Lock’s corpse with a carrot.

Aye, either they’re searching for some kind beacon of hope in this meaningless existence, or they’re thick as whale spunk and do what the Mail/Sun tells them. I doubt it’s the first.

Will there be a new queue to join The Queue? ( also, what a very bizarre word queue is).

“ Do the Weeyble”.

I’m surprised tooner hasn’t apologised yet, tbh.

Yvon Chouinard, the owner of the Patagonia company, inventor of climbing kit and all round top chap, has given the company away. Patagonia: Billionaire boss gives fashion firm away to fight climate change https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-62906853

I now picture you as Martin Goodman, bumbling about the house with your shirt off because “it’s boiling!”, and coming out with gems of wisdom.

Every few days I hide Mrs. F’s toothbrush somewhere in the bathroom. It’s the little things that make a marriage.

Eltoned YP

One down, two to go. ( poor fucker took a faceplant off the step).

Years of flinging them up Camilla’s horse-mouth* did that. Acid burns. Sorry… sorry * Queen Consort Camilla’s gash.

It’s the anticipation. You know that at some point, Elton John is going to fucking murder something from his back catalogue, you just don’t know when. Draining, tbh.

Was it a Three Star jumper and Bags?

Just lock all the toilets- they’ll self-detonate.

Predominantly older and/or right of centre folks, not really sure what it’s all about but the papers say they should do it. “ It’s about sovereignty…” This is Quexit, and I can’t wait for them to get it done.

So, the fat right German AfD party were campaigning in Lower Saxony, and decided to have gummi sweets made in the shape of their logo. Didn’t quite go to plan…

I’ve invited all the neighbours round for PLANTY JOOBS, but they don’t seem too keen. There’s BBQ, beers, live stream of the grave, song sheets for the singalong, full works, but no RSVPs back yet.

God. Imagine being an Aussie and a mackem. Brutal.

I think of all the acts of extreme Britishness that we’ve seen over the past however long it is since she died, ( a week, a month, a year, feels like it), people standing in a TWO AND A FUCKING HALF MILE queue takes the cake. They all look like absolute husks. It’s glorious

I’m struggling to understand what happened there- a bloke is in his own car, which stuck, calls for help, and is surrounded by armed police. He says he’d rather not get out of his vehicle, thanks, and so they shoot him. At what point did he commit a crime here? I hear the cops say he’s got a knife, the armed cops, who are surrounding the bloke, who doesn’t leave his car. So they shoot him dead.

I was expecting it to be to this , tbh, tbs.

It was