Monkeys Fist

It is, I was thinking of another lass, used to be an athlete- Kathy Tayler.

Alistair fucking Pirrie Who’s this lass with him, sure she was a presenter.

According to this we should give them possession

I really fancy United for a win on Boxing Day.

Beaten to death near his gaff- Club At The End Of The Street.

Eats his own face off while wasted in Russia- Krokodil Rock.

Head smashed in by people in the back seat not wearing seat belts - Passengers. The barrel bottom is getting thin, here

Scared to death by his pet pressing a loud, old-fashioned car horn behind him- Honky Cat.

Power surge to his mains-powered prostate tickler- Electricity.

Blue Eyes, Shirley.

Dies in a house fire- Candle in the Window.

Hazel O’Connor was shite.

Myocardial infarction- Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.

I’m surprised she can speak so clearly with Johnson’s cock in her mouth.

The gift that keeps on giving.

As eternally amusing as that bushpig is, this walking advert for bad barbering and dentistry is even better https://youtu.be/rBSCfmbVDYY Bushpig is at 30s in. This absolute pearler is from 34s on “ You worried?” ” Not werried at all, tharrin a diffrunt leygue. If we were playing Rotherham and Burton Albion weeyk in an weeyk out wey’d be top of the Leygue anarl!”

Evil genius. However, that does then deny our own future generations of the sheer delight and delicious hatred of them that we’ve so thoroughly enjoyed. Also, seeing them exist in a state of permanent misery as they yo-yo between League 1 and 2, making new alliances with Forest Green Rovers and Salford City , seems a far greater, and longer lasting pleasure, than the short lived but undoubtedly hilarious fact of them ceasing to exist would bring?

You can just picture him and Brewce, absolutely spackered on Fosters, collapsed in the back alley of the Sgt.Peppers, covered in empty packets of pork scratchings and scampi fries. “ Aah… aah fucken…ah fucken love you mind, Steven” ” Ahh, ch…cheers Lee.… (burp)… giz that last bag o’ Seabrooks man…”

So, since the season of goodwill is upon us, ( and I’ve partaken of several Christmas spirits ), a question arises in my mind about our sister-fucking neighbours. But first some preamble.… Our long rivalry has brought both pain and pleasure, in our case the latter mostly edging it, with us historically beating the fuck out of them on everything that counts. They love to bleat on about the last few derby results, but they were very much Pyrrhic victories for them- it seemed that they threw everything at them to the ultimate detriment of their club as a whole. ( And it most definitely is a hole). For the last 20+ years, they’ve royally stunk out whichever league they’ve infected, with their rancid fan’s behaviour and their laughably needy desperation to be loved by every and any club that isn’t us. The nadir of this awfulness was their morally bankrupt support, from the highest to lowest level of their club, of their beloved player, convicted paedophile Adam Johnson. It’s been an absolute joy to watch them plummet through the leagues, dragging poor Burton Albion with them, and a constant source of delight to witness the filthy pack of cunts have their hopes momentarily raised, just to see them crash and burn faster and more spectactularly than the Challenger shuttle. Whenever our despised owner has given them fuel to cackle like senile old women at our own club’s woes, their various owners over the years have always, without fail, managed to fuck things up on a far more hilarious scale than anything the Fat Cunt has managed. And so… the question. Would you rather see them continue on their monumental spiral down to oblivion, knowing it ultimately means no more derbys, but brings the massively entertaining money-shot of seeing them crash out of existence/the Football League, or would you rather see them level out where they are, permanently in the twilight zone, but with the odd chance of meeting them in the cups?

Martin Peters: 1966 World Cup winner and West Ham legend dies aged 76 https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/50880336 RIP

I’m sure we’ve sunk lower before.