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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    I wasn’t the aware the Crown Prince had bought us any players yet?
  2. Monkeys Fist
    Aye, he needs to get his spare fucking tent-cut jeans and shitty plastic bags from the office.
  3. Monkeys Fist
    They’d have their tongues so far up Dennis Wise’s hoop they could lick his teeth clean. It would make Season 3 on Netflix spectacular.
  4. Monkeys Fist
    “Honest lads, I was just sat there, Sugartits waved her hand, and a pink fucking light sabre appeared! I was so flabbergasted I forgot to mention why I should be in the running for a return to Newcastle.”
  5. Monkeys Fist
    “ Where’s the fucking ice-bath ?”
  6. Monkeys Fist
    “Still not as big as my head”
  7. Monkeys Fist
    I was having a day off.…
  8. Monkeys Fist
    Yabba dabba don’t.
  9. Monkeys Fist
    If I tried any of them, I’d wouldn’t be coming home.
  10. Monkeys Fist
    10 seconds more than I managed.
  11. Monkeys Fist
    Hey mate. Big Batman fan then? What does the Dark Knight have in his Whisky? Just Ice.
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Depends- if you’re looking for most deaths in total- it’s Everest hands down. If you mean highest deaths per climber, it’ll be Annapurna I reckon. It’s a fucking monster. If not, Kanchenjunga?
  13. Monkeys Fist
    To show fealty to our new Overlords, might be time to get Chin Mingeing lads. Assuming you don’t already sport a glorious facial nest? I know certain bogtrotting fellows are Talibanning it up, and it’s a knocking bet Gloom and Fish have cat-lickers
  14. Monkeys Fist
    More Jam than Hartleys, that cunt.
  15. Monkeys Fist
    K2 is a way more serious mountain than Everest. Edit; I remember in 1986, when I was bang in to my climbing, Al Rouse, Julie Tullis and a load of others got wiped out on K2 when a storm hit and fucked them.
  16. Monkeys Fist
    Might.
  17. Monkeys Fist
    Confirmed?
  18. Monkeys Fist
    Aye, most folk just think it was them, Mallory is one of those “ did he or didn’t he?” For me, making it back safely is a necessary factor to claim the summit, so whether he got there or not, he’s not having Doug’s title. Others disagree, but it’s not been proved they (Mallory and Irving) actually got there.
  19. Monkeys Fist
    I’d guess the hardest bit would be making up untrue Trumpisms, considering the shite he’s actually said?
  20. Monkeys Fist
    He’s not wrong.
  21. Monkeys Fist
    I’m having Titty Hill btw Close enough. Whenever I drive up to Edinburgh/Aberdeen, I pass a place called Cockenzie which always gets a little chuckle
  22. Monkeys Fist
    Close- it was a Bonington-led expedition in 1975 on the SW Face. Doug Scott ( English) Dougal Haston ( Sweaty) Doug Scott is one of the most nails mountaineers there’s ever been, I reckon. Look up his descent of The Ogre, with Bonington, for one of the most “ fuck right off, you should be dead” stories.
  23. Monkeys Fist
    I’m not fluent in Sweaty, but I’d guess it’s Titty Hill or something similar? Any ideas on the first English Everest summiteers?
  24. Monkeys Fist
    How desperate for clicks does he have to be?
  25. Monkeys Fist
    “Dad, why’s that strange man shouting at the statue?” ” Come away son, it’s not safe”.
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