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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Mohawk. Is that what Shearer calls it, too
  2. I wasn’t the aware the Crown Prince had bought us any players yet?
  3. Aye, he needs to get his spare fucking tent-cut jeans and shitty plastic bags from the office.
  4. They’d have their tongues so far up Dennis Wise’s hoop they could lick his teeth clean. It would make Season 3 on Netflix spectacular.
  5. “Honest lads, I was just sat there, Sugartits waved her hand, and a pink fucking light sabre appeared! I was so flabbergasted I forgot to mention why I should be in the running for a return to Newcastle.”
  6. If I tried any of them, I’d wouldn’t be coming home.
  7. Hey mate. Big Batman fan then? What does the Dark Knight have in his Whisky? Just Ice.
  8. Depends- if you’re looking for most deaths in total- it’s Everest hands down. If you mean highest deaths per climber, it’ll be Annapurna I reckon. It’s a fucking monster. If not, Kanchenjunga?
  9. To show fealty to our new Overlords, might be time to get Chin Mingeing lads. Assuming you don’t already sport a glorious facial nest? I know certain bogtrotting fellows are Talibanning it up, and it’s a knocking bet Gloom and Fish have cat-lickers
  10. K2 is a way more serious mountain than Everest. Edit; I remember in 1986, when I was bang in to my climbing, Al Rouse, Julie Tullis and a load of others got wiped out on K2 when a storm hit and fucked them.
  11. Aye, most folk just think it was them, Mallory is one of those “ did he or didn’t he?” For me, making it back safely is a necessary factor to claim the summit, so whether he got there or not, he’s not having Doug’s title. Others disagree, but it’s not been proved they (Mallory and Irving) actually got there.
  12. I’d guess the hardest bit would be making up untrue Trumpisms, considering the shite he’s actually said?
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