Monkeys Fist

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52055330 12/15. Ffs!

Good God woman! Are you trying to send me to an early grave? What with this outrageous muck, and Gemmill’s pic of his “back eye” I’m at serious risk of musculoskeletal meltdown, not to mention the more serious cost to my bog-roll supplies.

I did indeed stand on the doorstep and wave my semi, whilst thinking about nurses.

Did they sneak out while you were on Pornhub?

He’s so late.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Part-time. wfh at the moment on full pay. If I get this 80% lark, we might not have to sell the kids to former DJs. I had a lean year last year, work wise, so we won’t be dining on caviar these next few weeks, but this’ll go a long way to keeping my ticker from exploding again

Sunak- “ We’ll pay self employed folk 80% of whatever they declared on last years return” Me - “ Fair enough, pleasantly surprised you Tory Cunt- what’s the catch?” Sunak- “ HMRC say you can apply by the beginning of June…” Me -

For the sake of those on the board scratching their head thinking, ” Farro? Is that another one of those weird fucking budgie foods?” Yes, yes it is.

They’re old cunts.

Nasa released the first ever pic of Gemmill’s hoop.

Midgets.

Apparently due to the lack of tourists dropping their food everywhere , Venice’s seagulls have taken to hunting and scarfing down rats. Oh, nearly forgot … @Renton

The Tories are new to this socialism lark, give them some leeway

Surprising, given the close, mutual respect “both” teams have for each other.

Coronavirus: Off-licences added to list of 'essential' retailers https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52033260

I remember the goal, but afterwards is hazy.

This line in the BBC report about Prince Jug Ears. ”It's not a huge house but certainly big enough to isolate yourself within it. “ Edit: you are seeing half of it in the pic.

I take Candesartan daily. Should I be shitting my pants?

Just went out with the boy for a bike ride, I thought “ We’ll go past Hillheads Farm shop and get some fruit while we’re out.” There’s a big sign at the door saying stay 2m apart, do not go within 1m of till area until called,etc. I looked in and it’s fucking rammed, no one taking a blind bit of notice, and at least 60% elderly and/or fat as fuck. Darwinism.

“ Back to work, you!”