Monkeys Fist

If you read this with a Brummie accent in mind, it sounds even fucking dumber.

He is from the Midlands

I’ll tell you what, the quality of WUMs these days is piss poor. You could spot spot this one a mile off, and his patter is rancid.

And you’re out of work at the moment. Its subsidised.

How much you got left on it?

Out of interest, how much is your mortgage down there?

As far as I can tell, he’s genuine. ( Yes Space Cadet, we know all about your sordid real life ).

That seagull changed you, man.

What a throbber.

Oh, sweet summer child…

That’s a hoof in the knackers.

Pun Level ; Zen Master.

No Peking.

After paying the neighbours to come round and put up with him for a few hours, Tubbs uses “just a drop” of petrol for the inaugural firing up of his pile of fucking bricks BBQ.

Didn’t Jamie Fucking Oliver try some with his Fifteen restaurant?

“ Cream to finish”.

Stroganoff is normally made using the ends of the fillet, hence the tenderness. It usually takes a matter of minutes to knock up the sauce.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.psypost.org/2018/04/study-people-less-political-knowledge-think-know-lot-politics-51062/amp

Sam Allardyce: Everton send survey to fans asking to rate manager http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/43804196 As if Scouse Mackems can read.

He’s busy chewing on a DOC.

That’s all Stevie will have seen

What’s Tolkien done to piss them off, though?

One, three, potato.