Monkeys Fist

Fury or Fatty?

He looks like the lass was tripping her tits off. Come on, that's a piss take

Police hunt deformed freak whilst wearing fisheye lens specs.. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/sep/30/police-hunt-man-who-attacked-girl-on-her-way-to-school-in-hackney?cmp=oth_b-aplnews_d-2 That identikit is taking the piss, mind.

Relax, he'd need people to listen to it to go full-time

He's lucky she didn't give him a good fucking kicking

Fucking hell man @@ChezGiven, I know times are tough since the crash in the foie gras markets, but you didn't need to resort to this , http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-37538453 (I've got the keys to Fop's old safe house if you need it )

Practise what you troll? Please

You're right. We need someone like a Bally or a Catts to grab the game by the scruff of its neck and batter the shite out of it.

I propose we change our "walk on" music for this match from Oh Fortuna to this.

Best PM in your lunchtime?

Here's some grot for the knicker-sniffer

I'll send you a nice box of truffle butter.

Well, isn't this awkward? Guess who wasn't invited to the All Toontastic London Piss Up Weekend this summer

Who the fuck do they think they'll get instead?

I blame the parentheses.

Looks like Hippo Heed might've chewed his last stick of gum. Sam Allardyce: Ex-England manager could face football ban http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/37526465

Doubtful,he's 6.

Pulled up at home tonight , The Boy gets out of the car and, instead of going straight in the house as usual, he waits in the cold and dark on the drive for me to park. I get out and he asks, deadly serious. " Dad, is it a fact that over half the country don't like .... (dramatic pause, he actually did this ) .... Oysters?" Wtf ? (There had been no mention of oysters in the entire evenings conversations )