Nyff

I bought Bonnie Tyler's car last year on eBay. It's awful, every now and then it falls apart.

Pardew hoping to bring in another player before the Stevenage game.

Rumour has it he has gone.

This Match of the Day thing is bullshit. Starting things off with a 0-0 ffs.

Ranger done himself no favours since he has been on.

Think Best was only taken off so he could experience the crowd's reaction.

Tiote off ... hopefully just precaution!

Get the fuck off Ferguson ffs..

On Niall oh Niall...

How old is Ferguson btw? Looks no older than me...

Too easy! Shane Ferguson coming on.

3 of the Best!

Bring Ranger on for Loven, and watch Best get his hat-trick. He has looked brilliant today and has had some brilliant touches. Just shows what a bit of confidence can do for you!

We want 6!

I don't know why my natural reaction to Best scoring is to laugh, but oh well! Best on for the hat-trick!

BEST! Hahaaaaaa 1-0! !!

Enrique is unreal. By far the best left back in the league.

Best has had a decent start, to be fair.

Best starts...interesting...

Don't know why Xisco isn't given a chance. He did more than Best vs. Wigan did when he came on against Villa.

If we bring in Bentley and get him playing to his best again then we are in a really strong position for the rest of this season and for the start of next season. Would love to see Bentley sign and for us to get another decent striker in to play off Carroll, or even someone who can get goals should Carroll get injured again. Really really want Shola to be sold but can't see it happening, and sometime before the start of next season (jumping the gun a bit, I know) I would like a big clear out with the likes of Perch, Lovenkrands, Raylor e.t.c shipped out, and a couple of decent back ups for CB/RB (or get Staylor playing well at RB). So yeah, just Bentley and another ST would be the dream. Can only really see one more signing, but would probably be content with just Ben Arfa right now.

You can't see much at all of the Eden Hazard one, just some picture that looks like its from a wedding. Only thing I will say is that his "about me" looks a little bit like a Wiki entry.

Wonder if I can add Eden Hazard and manufacture a move to the Toon...

Fucking hell this is hilarious. He deserves his own thread.