Cooking

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

[RobinRobin 12917]

10 hours ago, Christmas Tree said:

Had to be done. Wouldn’t be Christmas without a couple of blue moons to wash down a duck pizza.

 

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

Making a Goulashish for tea tonight. 
 

Beef (obvs) … stewing steak or any other fat-heavy cut, diced. 

Green lentils 

Couple of chopped beef tomatoes 

Tomato purée 

three quarters of a fuck-ton of garlic 

Sliced shallots 

Paprika

White wine

Beef stock

plain flour 

salt and pepper 

Fresh parsley for garnish

 

Secret Ingredients ( the ish bit) 

Thin sliced Kabanos (polish sausage) 

Beef dripping from the Christmas Day beef joint. 

Dust the beef in seasoned flour, with a decent amount of Paprika too 

Brown it in the beef dripping- do this in batches ( I used 1kg of beef and did 4 batches in my cast iron casserole pan). 
Once the beef is browned, cook the Kabanos- do it on a lowish heat as want the spicy fat to come out. 

Chuck them in the bowl with the beef once they’re done ( you want them just starting to crisp up, like pancetta in carbonara) 

Turn the heat on your hob down to its lowest possible setting, then whack the shallots in the pan and slooooowly cook them off. Not quite caramelised, but not far off is the target. 
We’re talking 20 minutes plus just for the shallots here. 
Right at the end, add your garlic, then some more for good measure, and soften it up for a few minutes- do not let it take in any colour. 
 

Once they’re ready, tip the beef and Kabanos back in with them,

Add as much Paprika as you want here- for this amount of beef, I used a couple of dessert spoons, and then tickle more. 
 

Add the puree, and chopped tomatoes,  

then deglaze the pan with a healthy dose of white wine. 
By healthy, I mean unhealthy-1kg is a lot of beef, and  your wine here is dual-purpose. 
Initially it’s deglazing all that lovely beefy stuff from the pan, but it’s also your acid element which helps the beef soften up and become melt in the mouth. 
Whack it in! 
(Don’t be shy, and also don’t be precious- I bought a decent bottle thinking “I’ll put a bit in then use stock to top it up ” , but I found a sad looking bottle of opened Prosecco and the arse end of a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge - banged them in. 
With this much garlic and seasoning, it doesn’t matter about using some lovely wine, chuck in the dregs! ) 
 

Let that reduce by half at least. 

 

Add your beef stock and lentils, and stir it all together and then you have a choice

In the oven on gas 3-4 for a couple of hours 

or

On stove. 
Bring it up to a very gentle simmer, like, one or two bubbles breaking the surface, then put the lid on and turn the heat right down , so that it keeps the simmer but no more 

At this, about an hour will do you. 
 

Taste, season, then we’re having it with a fuck-off big Tiger bread chopped in to bits, or if you’re a fanny, do some sourdough flatbreads 

 

Garnish it with parsley and put a bowl of sour cream out to add as you want. 
 

 

I can not feckin wait for this tonight 

[Gemmill 52397]

MUMSNET! 

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

Just now, Gemmill said:

MUMSNET! 

I put…

Beef

Paprika

Garlic

Prosecco

in to Chat GTF and this was the recipe it came back with. 
 

We’re having egg and chips. 

[Christmas Tree 5347]

Posh breakfast, crushed avocado on seeded bread, drizzled with honey and topped with two eggs. With a side of mushrooms and wilted spinach. 
 

Must admit the spinach looks as though the cat threw up  

 

All served on my feel fabulous plate!

 

 

[ewerk 34176]

If I had to guess what sort of plates you have in your house that’s 100% what I would have chosen.

[Gemmill 52397]

"Wine O'Clock" poster on the kitchen wall. 

[Alex 37719]

Live, Laugh, Love 

[Gemmill 52397]

Live, Laugh, Lisp. 

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

You Don’t Have To Be Mad To Live Here…

 

 

… BUT IT HELPS!!

 

 

 

 

 

Avocado is the most over rated slop imo. 
Every recipe that uses it, it’s there as bulk, the taste comes from elsewhere. 

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

Since we’re here, the lad a few doors up is a gamekeeper for the Duke of Northumberland. 
 

Knocked on the door a few nights back and handed over some venison sausages, said they’d had a population explosion amongst the deer and were struggling to use up the meat without just binning it. 
 

( I told him I’ll happily take any excess of his hands ) 

 

So, Sunday lunch today is Venison Sausage Toad in the Hole with Port and Wholegrain Mustard gravy, duck fat roasties and steamed greens. 
 

 

Get in mah belleh! 

[Sonatine 12286]

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

4 minutes ago, Sonatine said:

I’ve just had a “sampler” of the sausage before I whack them in the batter.  
 

 

They are fucking amazing 

[Howmanheyman 37931]

15 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Since we’re here, the lad a few doors up is a gamekeeper for the Duke of Northumberland. 
 

Knocked on the door a few nights back and handed over some venison sausages, said they’d had a population explosion amongst the deer and were struggling to use up the meat without just binning it. 
 

( I told him I’ll happily take any excess of his hands ) 

 

So, Sunday lunch today is Venison Sausage Toad in the Hole with Port and Wholegrain Mustard gravy, duck fat roasties and steamed greens. 
 

 

Get in mah belleh! 

 

Sounds lush, had something similar last week for a change, was absolutely tremendous by the way.

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 46386]

Just for future reference

 

Yorkshire pudding batter:

 

150g plain flour 

4 large eggs

200ml milk. 
 

Mix then together until you have a smooth batter- I add the milk to the eggs and mix ‘em up, then gradually whip them in to the flour. 
 

Once you’ve got a smooth batter, I add thyme, parsley, and a decent spoonful of whole grain mustard, mix it up and leave it aside for  at least 30 mins. 
 

Gravy is based on properly caramelised onions- I used red ones, finely sliced, on the lowest heat you can get. 
once they’re starting to properly caramelise ( which takes at least 30 mins), add a hefty whack of garlic, an equally hefty whack of whole grain mustard, and some brown sugar. 
 

Pay attention  to this but because it’s easy to end up with burnt as opposed to caramelised, but keep the heat low and stir constantly, then when you're happy it’s all cooked, bang the heat up and add stock. 
 

It’s then a matter of keeping an eye on the level of liquid in your gravy- don’t let it get to low, don’t go overboard either.  
 

Once it’s all ready, you have a choice 

 

I like onion gravy served without the onions. 
Others like them left in.

 

 

Decide which side you’re on, realise fat no onions is the only way, then crack in and eat. 

[strawb 4732]

8 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Just for future reference

 

Yorkshire pudding batter:

 

150g plain flour 

4 large eggs

200ml milk. 
 

 

This is objectively wrong, equal parts or everything by weight. Plus salt.

 

Gravy sounded nice but everyone in the uk disregards vinegar in their cooking, it elevates everything. Splash of red wine vinegar in that would blow you smelly socks off