Howmanheyman 26981 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 Stick to the spreadsheets, lads. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 5 hours ago, The Fish said: I accidentally bought a pot of manuka honey, only realised when I went through the receipt of a surprisingly expensive shop. £18 for a fucking jar of honey! £2 more and I can get you a box of Wasps. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2143 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6434 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3211 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 26 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34631 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 39 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. Tough way to find out. Better luck next time. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5555 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 1 hour ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26479 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 1 hour ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 1 hour ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. Do they do anything you can break wind dance to? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9250 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 7 hours ago, Tdansmith said: I’ve just been notified that I have failed my RAF written entry exam. It seems that the bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band, after all. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16734 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4895 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 8 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10007 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 16 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 My teacher told me I’d never amount to anything in poetry due to my dyslexia. I’ve shown that cow- just sold my first 6 vases, and 4 decorative plates. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5555 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 57 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5555 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 6 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: My teacher told me I’d never amount to anything in poetry due to my dyslexia. I’ve shown that cow- just sold my first 6 vases, and 4 decorative plates. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 It’s been a long held ambition of mine to be run over by a steam train, and it finally happened last weekend. Chuffed to bits. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 What do you call a Scotchman with one foot inside his house and one foot outside? Hamish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10007 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9250 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 29 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: What do you call a Scotchman with one foot inside his house and one foot outside? Hamish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9250 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 2 hours ago, wykikitoon said: Every morning I announce that I am off jogging and then don't go It's a running joke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26981 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 A poor husband is married to the local dragon, not one thing he ever does is good enough, he even has to blob to earn extra cash to pay for a cleaner as his wife can't be arsed to do anything strenuous or beneath her dignity. She hires a cleaner to come around and the cleaner is a young, blonde Ukrainian lass. One day the wife comes back from shopping early to find her husband balls deep in the cleaner, 'What the fuck is going on here!' the wife shouts. The bloke says he was just helping the young lass out. 'helping her out?!' the wife exclaims. The bloke tries to explain, 'Those expensive shoes I bought you that were lying around because you said you'd went off them, well Anya said they were lovely and she wished she could afford a pair like them so I gave them to her rather than throw them out like you asked me to. She was so grateful, she asked if there was anything else you didn't want so I gave her that lingerie set I bought you that you said was too tight and didn't go with anything else you had. She asked to try it on and was in tears when it fitted her perfectly and I said she was welcome to have it. She hugged me tight thanking me and asked if there was anything else my wife had that she didn't have a use for anymore? And it was at that exact point she noticed my erection." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10007 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14638 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5555 Posted April 15 Share Posted April 15 37 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: A poor husband is married to the local dragon, not one thing he ever does is good enough, he even has to blob to earn extra cash to pay for a cleaner as his wife can't be arsed to do anything strenuous or beneath her dignity. She hires a cleaner to come around and the cleaner is a young, blonde Ukrainian lass. One day the wife comes back from shopping early to find her husband balls deep in the cleaner, 'What the fuck is going on here!' the wife shouts. The bloke says he was just helping the young lass out. 'helping her out?!' the wife exclaims. The bloke tries to explain, 'Those expensive shoes I bought you that were lying around because you said you'd went off them, well Anya said they were lovely and she wished she could afford a pair like them so I gave them to her rather than throw them out like you asked me to. She was so grateful, she asked if there was anything else you didn't want so I gave her that lingerie set I bought you that you said was too tight and didn't go with anything else you had. She asked to try it on and was in tears when it fitted her perfectly and I said she was welcome to have it. She hugged me tight thanking me and asked if there was anything else my wife had that she didn't have a use for anymore? And it was at that exact point she noticed my erection." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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