Gemmill 53985 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 You should have skullfucked him into oblivion whilst singing Just One Cornetto. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 17073 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 8 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Generally speaking my holiday wankers/nemesis are usually cockney wankers. I was extremely annoyed on the Eurostar the other day when a fat Essex family sat down opposite me, the kid started playing as West Ham on FM2022, they cracked open a few beers - and then started loudly laying into Boris and slagging off Brexit and the Tories to all and sundry. What am I supposed to do with my stereotypes now?! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 17073 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 13 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said: The English who go abroad and will hunt high and low for things they can get at home boil my piss. Was in a beach bar the other day and some grim as fuck Scousers walked in and one ordered a pie and chips with gravy ffs. All I could think was “Fuck off to Benidorm” "Forgive them, for they have literally never eaten anything that isn't pie and chips with gravy" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 24588 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 48 minutes ago, Renton said: I need alcohol before I get on a plane. Or diazepam if its work related. Coffee would be my idea of hell, just increase my anxiety. Don't see anything wrong with medicating like this as long as you don't overdo it obviously. And yeah, for me the holiday starts once I'm through security. When my kids were young, flying back from Italy they were right pains in the arse kicking the seats in front etc. Not a lot I could do apart from distraction etc. Next day in the Supermarket, an older couple came up to me and said do you remember us? I was fairly scoobied as to who they were, until they said really pissed off " We remember you and your kids from the flight". Miserable old cunts, careful wykiki, don't let this be you! I have serious sympathy for people with bairns on flights, especially long distance. I don't have kids but have travelled with my nephew and it's hard! When it comes to nippers I have patience. It's the thick as fuck adults who cannot follow simple common sense. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4827 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 I on the other hand would gladly pay extra for adult only planes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 11339 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 2 hours ago, Renton said: I need alcohol before I get on a plane. Or diazepam if its work related. Coffee would be my idea of hell, just increase my anxiety. Don't see anything wrong with medicating like this as long as you don't overdo it obviously. And yeah, for me the holiday starts once I'm through security. When my kids were young, flying back from Italy they were right pains in the arse kicking the seats in front etc. Not a lot I could do apart from distraction etc. Next day in the Supermarket, an older couple came up to me and said do you remember us? I was fairly scoobied as to who they were, until they said really pissed off " We remember you and your kids from the flight". Miserable old cunts, careful wykiki, don't let this be you! got a midnight flight from zurich to bangkok enroute to sydney when me lad was 6. in the departure lounge he demanded a drink so I took him to the shop and told him to choose what he wanted out the fridge. he opted for red bull and being knackered I never even give it a thought, just bought it. he was like the tasmanian devil on coke still by the time we were crossing india. wife never spoke to me for about 3 days. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 13290 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 All my 6 year old did when we arrived in Melbourne was throw up all over me. Must have been the dog nuggets at Maccas on the stopover in Singapore. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 24832 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 38 minutes ago, RobinRobin said: All my 6 year old did when we arrived in Melbourne was throw up all over me. Must have been the dog nuggets at Maccas on the stopover in Singapore. i was flying into SF after a 10 hour flight with my one year old. She spewed up all over me as we were coming into land. She was too little to have her own seat and I had her on my lap and wasn’t allowed to remove her. We were then stuck on the runway for 45 minutes before spending a couple of hours getting through security. Fucking hell, I stunk like a tramp. By the time I got to the front of the queue at the car rental place I wasn’t confident they’d give me a motor - I looked and smelt worse than Bill Storey 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 20285 Posted June 10, 2022 Share Posted June 10, 2022 2 hours ago, Renton said: I once had a romantic gondola ride in Venice and the gondolier was like a fucking fascist racist version of CT, wouldn't keep his mouth shut. Kept on singing the praises of Burlesconi and making thrusting actions at the wife. As an English coward, I just politely smiled. That’s just made me spit my coffee out all over Costa’s fake mahogany table, you’ve painted a scene worthy of any carry on film 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 13290 Posted June 11, 2022 Share Posted June 11, 2022 13 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: i was flying into SF after a 10 hour flight with my one year old. She spewed up all over me as we were coming into land. She was too little to have her own seat and I had her on my lap and wasn’t allowed to remove her. We were then stuck on the runway for 45 minutes before spending a couple of hours getting through security. Fucking hell, I stunk like a tramp. By the time I got to the front of the queue at the car rental place I wasn’t confident they’d give me a motor - I looked and smelt worse than Bill Storey The only top I had readily available to change into was the jersey I had needed in the snow in Newcastle before we left. It was 40 degrees in Melbourne! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 15539 Posted June 12, 2022 Share Posted June 12, 2022 The fucking chaos at Kos airport thanks to TUI is beyond belief. Every single flight back to the UK is currently delayed because of those slack cunts. They want shot with shit 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 15539 Posted June 12, 2022 Share Posted June 12, 2022 Never mind, mine is back to being on time. Hahahaha, get fucked everyone else 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 24588 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 Just been in a restaurant in Milan. The walls had graffiti on from customers. Two couples near us, Mackems. 'Mate you got a marker pen?' I bet you can't guess what hashtag they wrote. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 35103 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 A mackem in Milan? I’m calling bullshit. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47315 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 #Chi sono queste le chiavi? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 24588 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 I took some Italian lessons years ago then been doing duo lingo last year or so. Tried to speak today in a shop and the women spoke so fast she saw how shocked I was and said 'English?' 🤣 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 47315 Posted June 15, 2022 Share Posted June 15, 2022 Did you reply “ No, Yoorksheh!” ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 24588 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 There was an Italian wedding in our hotel yesterday. Total opposite to a standard brit wedding. All good looking all well dressed. A decent disco but I didnt see anyone absolutely smashed at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 5625 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 1 hour ago, wykikitoon said: There was an Italian wedding in our hotel yesterday. Total opposite to a standard brit wedding. All good looking all well dressed. A decent disco but I didnt see anyone absolutely smashed at all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 24588 Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 Was trying to pull Gino but he was having non of it 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 20285 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Greetings from Oban A & E! This is the White Beach at the NE end to of the Isle of Iona, about 20 yards from where the current Mrs PL fell about 1130 this morning and badly sprained her ankle 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 25151 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) 8 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: Greetings from Oban A & E! This is the White Beach at the NE end to of the Isle of Iona, about 20 yards from where the current Mrs PL fell about 1130 this morning and badly sprained her ankle I visited that same A&E with brat #1 2 years ago with a suspected broken wrist. It wasn't of course but cost me a few hours of my life. Mind it was pissing down anyway unlike in your photo. Get across to Tobermory mate. 👍 Edited July 5, 2022 by Renton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 25151 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Shit, just seen you had to get there from Iona. Her leg would have to have been lobbed off before I shifted from there. Ignore the Tobermory bit! You'll have obviously been and frequented the MishNish. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 38598 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 I’ve been to that beach but not that A&E 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 20285 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Renton said: Shit, just seen you had to get there from Iona. Her leg would have to have been lobbed off before I shifted from there. Ignore the Tobermory bit! You'll have obviously been and frequented the MishNish. Scottish ambulance service, in some ways fairly, declined to attend . They actually said 5 hours but I got the message. Crofter about 1 km away had 4 x 4 to get her off the beach to get to ferry. Got across and drove to Craignure to get ferry to Oban and she had to be supported by me and a member of Calmac staff up to the passenger deck as the fuckin cunts at Craignure terminal refused to let their wheelchair got to the mainland. There was one at Oban. So we’re here now. Am outside with the dog Edited July 5, 2022 by PaddockLad 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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