Gemmill 13516 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 You should have skullfucked him into oblivion whilst singing Just One Cornetto. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 7643 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 8 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Generally speaking my holiday wankers/nemesis are usually cockney wankers. I was extremely annoyed on the Eurostar the other day when a fat Essex family sat down opposite me, the kid started playing as West Ham on FM2022, they cracked open a few beers - and then started loudly laying into Boris and slagging off Brexit and the Tories to all and sundry. What am I supposed to do with my stereotypes now?! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 7643 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 13 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said: The English who go abroad and will hunt high and low for things they can get at home boil my piss. Was in a beach bar the other day and some grim as fuck Scousers walked in and one ordered a pie and chips with gravy ffs. All I could think was “Fuck off to Benidorm” "Forgive them, for they have literally never eaten anything that isn't pie and chips with gravy" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 5559 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 48 minutes ago, Renton said: I need alcohol before I get on a plane. Or diazepam if its work related. Coffee would be my idea of hell, just increase my anxiety. Don't see anything wrong with medicating like this as long as you don't overdo it obviously. And yeah, for me the holiday starts once I'm through security. When my kids were young, flying back from Italy they were right pains in the arse kicking the seats in front etc. Not a lot I could do apart from distraction etc. Next day in the Supermarket, an older couple came up to me and said do you remember us? I was fairly scoobied as to who they were, until they said really pissed off " We remember you and your kids from the flight". Miserable old cunts, careful wykiki, don't let this be you! I have serious sympathy for people with bairns on flights, especially long distance. I don't have kids but have travelled with my nephew and it's hard! When it comes to nippers I have patience. It's the thick as fuck adults who cannot follow simple common sense. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 1627 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 I on the other hand would gladly pay extra for adult only planes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 2316 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 2 hours ago, Renton said: I need alcohol before I get on a plane. Or diazepam if its work related. Coffee would be my idea of hell, just increase my anxiety. Don't see anything wrong with medicating like this as long as you don't overdo it obviously. And yeah, for me the holiday starts once I'm through security. When my kids were young, flying back from Italy they were right pains in the arse kicking the seats in front etc. Not a lot I could do apart from distraction etc. Next day in the Supermarket, an older couple came up to me and said do you remember us? I was fairly scoobied as to who they were, until they said really pissed off " We remember you and your kids from the flight". Miserable old cunts, careful wykiki, don't let this be you! got a midnight flight from zurich to bangkok enroute to sydney when me lad was 6. in the departure lounge he demanded a drink so I took him to the shop and told him to choose what he wanted out the fridge. he opted for red bull and being knackered I never even give it a thought, just bought it. he was like the tasmanian devil on coke still by the time we were crossing india. wife never spoke to me for about 3 days. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 1931 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 All my 6 year old did when we arrived in Melbourne was throw up all over me. Must have been the dog nuggets at Maccas on the stopover in Singapore. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 7925 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 38 minutes ago, RobinRobin said: All my 6 year old did when we arrived in Melbourne was throw up all over me. Must have been the dog nuggets at Maccas on the stopover in Singapore. i was flying into SF after a 10 hour flight with my one year old. She spewed up all over me as we were coming into land. She was too little to have her own seat and I had her on my lap and wasn’t allowed to remove her. We were then stuck on the runway for 45 minutes before spending a couple of hours getting through security. Fucking hell, I stunk like a tramp. By the time I got to the front of the queue at the car rental place I wasn’t confident they’d give me a motor - I looked and smelt worse than Bill Storey 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 5786 Posted June 10 Report Share Posted June 10 2 hours ago, Renton said: I once had a romantic gondola ride in Venice and the gondolier was like a fucking fascist racist version of CT, wouldn't keep his mouth shut. Kept on singing the praises of Burlesconi and making thrusting actions at the wife. As an English coward, I just politely smiled. That’s just made me spit my coffee out all over Costa’s fake mahogany table, you’ve painted a scene worthy of any carry on film 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 1931 Posted June 11 Report Share Posted June 11 13 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: i was flying into SF after a 10 hour flight with my one year old. She spewed up all over me as we were coming into land. She was too little to have her own seat and I had her on my lap and wasn’t allowed to remove her. We were then stuck on the runway for 45 minutes before spending a couple of hours getting through security. Fucking hell, I stunk like a tramp. By the time I got to the front of the queue at the car rental place I wasn’t confident they’d give me a motor - I looked and smelt worse than Bill Storey The only top I had readily available to change into was the jersey I had needed in the snow in Newcastle before we left. It was 40 degrees in Melbourne! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 7483 Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 The fucking chaos at Kos airport thanks to TUI is beyond belief. Every single flight back to the UK is currently delayed because of those slack cunts. They want shot with shit 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 7483 Posted June 12 Report Share Posted June 12 Never mind, mine is back to being on time. Hahahaha, get fucked everyone else 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 5559 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 Just been in a restaurant in Milan. The walls had graffiti on from customers. Two couples near us, Mackems. 'Mate you got a marker pen?' I bet you can't guess what hashtag they wrote. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 13201 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 A mackem in Milan? I’m calling bullshit. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 17866 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 #Chi sono queste le chiavi? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 5559 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 I took some Italian lessons years ago then been doing duo lingo last year or so. Tried to speak today in a shop and the women spoke so fast she saw how shocked I was and said 'English?' 🤣 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 17866 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 Did you reply “ No, Yoorksheh!” ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 5559 Posted June 19 Report Share Posted June 19 There was an Italian wedding in our hotel yesterday. Total opposite to a standard brit wedding. All good looking all well dressed. A decent disco but I didnt see anyone absolutely smashed at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 1805 Posted June 19 Report Share Posted June 19 1 hour ago, wykikitoon said: There was an Italian wedding in our hotel yesterday. Total opposite to a standard brit wedding. All good looking all well dressed. A decent disco but I didnt see anyone absolutely smashed at all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 5559 Posted June 19 Report Share Posted June 19 Was trying to pull Gino but he was having non of it 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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