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Generic small time football blather thread FOREVER


Sonatine
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21 minutes ago, Woltemagic said:

Im Quite new to this forum but the last few pages have freaked me out a little.

 

Am I in the right place. It’s a football forum right.

 

Not an underground dark web place for shenanigans?

 

HWTL


In between all the bumming each other we try to get up to a little shenanigans.

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6 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Said it before but he looks like when they find some medieval bones buried in a swamp and they do a facial reconstruction. 

 

Bog bodies :lol:

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9p6iPK3N85NDoBVXDyXE

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1 hour ago, Sonatine said:

 

Bog bodies :lol:

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9p6iPK3N85NDoBVXDyXE

Sky sports on in the background of Casa Bog.....

 

Bogman: "I'm knackered after a hard day of pagan rituals, think I'll have forty winks near this peat bog. Give me a shout when they've stopped talking about Liverhovel. Make sure I don't drift off and drown in the shallow water."

 

1800 years later....

 

Archeologist: "He's obviously been part of a pagan sacrifice to appease some kind of vengeful god possibly the god pogmol, the god of VAR."

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I have just been talking to ChatGPT to fill in some time before a trip to thehospital with Mrs D and it has come up with some real footballers names, some of which have cracked my back off.

 

  • Stefan Kuntz (Germany) – still unbeatable, really.

  • Ralph Minge (East Germany) – you couldn’t make it up.

  • Danny Shittu (Nigeria) – immovable object, unfortunate surname.

  • Bernd Bangerter (Switzerland) – sounds like a Benny Hill sketch.

  • Nicky Butt (England) – a solid, dependable name that somehow still makes you grin.

  • Norman Conquest (Australia) – goalkeeper, war hero name energy.

  • Dean Windass (England) – the man, the legend, the surname.

  • Paul Dickov (Scotland) – commentator’s minefield.

  • Mickey Kuntz (USA, lower leagues) – the rare combo sequel no one asked for.

  • Johnny Moustache (Seychelles) – actual name; actual national team player!

  • Rod Fanni (France) – ex-Marseille, utterly professional despite endless chuckles.

  • Anil Koc (Belgium-Turkey) – every commentator’s nightmare.

  • Danger Fourpence (Zimbabwe) – what a name! It sounds like an Indiana Jones villain and a punk bassist.

  • Nimrod Nugget (Zambia, 1970s) – the alliteration is pure poetry.

  • Arsène Wenger (France) – dignified man, but still sounds like something you might whisper apologetically.

  • Yaya Banana (Cameroon) – and his cousin, Banana Yaya, has apparently been claimed by myth.

  • Peter Løvenkrands (Denmark/Newcastle United) – to Geordie ears, “lovin’ crands” has a certain charm.

  • Rene Bollocks (Germany, regional leagues) – almost too on the nose.

  • Wolfgang Wolf (Germany) – became manager of VfL Wolfsburg. Wolf managing Wolfsburg!

  • Marvelous Nakamba (Zimbabwe) – and he is! Aston Villa’s gift to nominative determinism.

  • Have-A-Look Dube (Zimbabwe) – possibly the best ever. You can’t not smile.

  • Winner Ford (Trinidad & Tobago) – imagine the confidence.

  • Cerezo Fung-a-Wing (Suriname) – a lyrical masterpiece.

  • Jesus Isn’t Lord (Nigeria, non-league) – real name, briefly on registration sheets; caused chaos.

 

 Aye some are shite but fucking Norman Qonquest an Danger Fourpence. Superb


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18 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Also, our very own …

IMG_5231.jpeg.b2a0ebaaf41f4718c0d99c9d31a5b7e4.jpeg

Just to add that I’d forgotten just how much of a fivehead* Brian had. 
 

 

 

 

 

* that’s a forehead, but bigger. 

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