Kevin Carr's Gloves 4935 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 hour ago, thebrokendoll said: I was once at an outdoor party underneath a motorway flyover near uxbridge. bloke had taken some fly agaric. kept getting his knob out on the dance floor, pissing in a glass and then drinking it. seemed quite oblivious to the looks of horror he was getting mind. still, not a good look. think I'll stick to about 30 liberty caps, if only I could find some. He was definitely on the piss 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42101 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 (edited) I did see some liberty caps when I was out the other day but noted there were only four of them. Can’t remember where now but fours not going to do much. I wonder if the long, hot, dry summer is the issue. Isn’t that his types of truffle form? I.e. when the conditions prevent normal growth in fungi? I know you can get hallucinogenic truffles because you could get them in the Dam when they were sold (in a loophole to get round the ban on shrooms). Good luck finding hallucinogenic truffles when you’re out on a walk like. Edited November 13 by Alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 63006 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 He might have to get himself a pet pig if weather is the issue, cos I imagine parched summers are gonna be the norm from now on. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 Just spent my “overnight” in a truckstop in Ellesmere Port. Had poached eggs on toast in the cafe, which was empty by the time I wandered in, and they had GB News, loudly, on the TV. Got “the look” when I asked them to put something else on. Also, the bogs… Thats an XXXL Super Wide Fatty seat. Felt like a bairn sitting in it, legs swinging away. They definitely have a target market. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 12329 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 It's like a sombrero for TBD. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 42101 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 With that colour scheme it looks like something out of a David Lynch film 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 hour ago, Alex said: With that colour scheme it looks like something out of a David Lynch film If you look closely, you’ll see I had a shite in reverse then played it back. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 27742 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 1 hour ago, Alex said: With that colour scheme it looks like something out of a David Lynch film That's the badger. Was struggling to think what it reminded me of. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 13 Share Posted November 13 It could also be the cover of a White Stripes bootleg. The Brown Stripes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14491 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 9 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Just spent my “overnight” in a truckstop in Ellesmere Port. Had poached eggs on toast in the cafe, which was empty by the time I wandered in, and they had GB News, loudly, on the TV. Got “the look” when I asked them to put something else on. Also, the bogs… Thats an XXXL Super Wide Fatty seat. Felt like a bairn sitting in it, legs swinging away. They definitely have a target market. Sitting? I knew you couldn't be that strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 2 hours ago, RobinRobin said: Sitting? I knew you couldn't be that strange. Of course, resting my elbows on the cistern, like a normal person. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 News from the en-suite. Mug business is ramped up for Xmas but found out today I’m sailing very close to the VAT threshold Did a bit research today and the word from most (YouTube) accountants, was that unless you really intend to soar your turnover, you are better off staying under it. Im not crying in my beer just yet, but seems a massive hit to profits to cross the threshold. (My net profit is an absolute fraction of £90,000 , but it seems very anti growing a small business when you get to that point. Also any self employed out there, any recommendations for good accounting software given the new rules coming in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28488 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 17990 Posted November 14 Share Posted November 14 2 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: Also any self employed out there, any recommendations for good accounting software given the new rules coming in. Not from me yet, at least - I don't earn enough to be caught up in the staggered introduction so I'm going to be lazy, sit back and watch what other people do first. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 14491 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 5 hours ago, wykikitoon said: It's his tax write off isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 14212 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 bottom end of monmouth high street at the moment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 14212 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 m&s foodhall door smashed in by a floating planter.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 14212 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 been having a look to see if there's any looting to be done. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 17990 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 This is not just free shit... this is M&S free shit 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 39152 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 That water looks to be about 12 inches high, be careful you don’t drown. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 5 hours ago, ewerk said: That water looks to be about 12 inches high, be careful you don’t drown. He’ll be ok once his lift home turns up. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6688 Posted November 15 Share Posted November 15 On 14/11/2025 at 21:06, Meenzer said: Not from me yet, at least - I don't earn enough to be caught up in the staggered introduction so I'm going to be lazy, sit back and watch what other people do first. Well according to various political gossips, In the budget (27th November), it’s either going upto 100k or being abolished altogether so everyone will have to do vat returns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43837 Posted November 17 Share Posted November 17 (edited) This tale just come up on one of my WhatsApp groups couple of lads I know are away in the Gambia with a few others as they're dedicated twitchers. Anyway, the teller of the tale has form for filling his pants. Anyway, I'll let him tell the tale.... Quote So…it was like this…we were out birding first light…and unfortunately I never emptied my load before heading out. We got to our first port of call, Crab Island, to look for waders, kingfishers and herons etc. After about 200 yards, my stomach clearly told my arse to get ready for action. Unfortunately no one had any toilet paper, so I headed back towards the van as I knew I had a roll, and told the lads and guide I’d catch up, and acted rather cool, though in my head I knew this had the potential for Holy Island revisited. It was a rather long 200 yards, and my guts were asking question. I got my bog roll and headed back to the dirt track, having identified a side track where I was going to do my deed. It was only 50 yards…but every step was a bowel loosener..and then an unfortunate and uncontrolled fart emptied the air pocket…followed very closely by the emptying of my bowels…I was 10 yards from my squatting pitch. I knew this had got rather messy. I got to the dumping ground, and slowly peeled my shorts and boxers down to my knees…the result was rather damaging…and having experience in this, I knew what I had to do. I kept my boxers, hammock-like, above my knees, with a very loose, sweet corn infested Korma-like shite nestling precariously in its cotton-cradle. I started inching my shorts off, which were fortunately unstained, thanks to the quality of my Next boxers…as I was slowly retracting my Merrell from my short leg, the heel caught on way out, the hammock tilted…and the load dropped off my boxers, like a cement mixer emptying its compo, right onto my Craghopper shorts. This wasn’t good…I managed to escape the shit-smeared shorts…but it wasn’t a clean escape, as my binoculars, dangling round my neck, got themselves involved…leading to rather random smearing up my legs and arms. I managed to clean my arse, taking almost a full roll, and standing there…in merrells and tee-shirt…wondered what to do. This tale had a little good fortune, as I was right on a river bank…though I had to cross a public path to get there…fortunately the path was empty…and I scrambled down the bank with my caked craghoppers..and found a good vantage point, with the river easily reached, to launder my shorts…so, with tackle dangling, I managed to wash them thoroughly…wrung them out and then put them back on…and left the scene, unseen and as if nothing had happened. He'd had a load of beer the night before with a curry. Edited November 17 by Howmanheyman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 28488 Posted November 17 Share Posted November 17 Anyone in here take a magnesium supplement? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50629 Posted November 17 Share Posted November 17 HMHM’s slack-arsed mate takes a milk of magnesia supplement. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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