Christmas Tree 3997 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hey, if your moving back in with the folks, we'll be able to catch up for a drink, I can give you some advice, you can teach me to cycle and then come metal detecting. This could really work out GRRRRREAAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2431 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I'm still living in it. She moved out back in September last year. I would stay but it's a bit too much on the mortgage to be comfortable, and it's also far too big for one person. I retain custody of the cats too. Who gets the roomba and yoga mats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 [emoji38] With your height and your income, girls will happily look past your total lack of confidence and, choking back the bile, tug you off in static caravan at Feather's. [emoji38] I should open with height/income on my match.com profile then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9008 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hey, if your moving back in with the folks, we'll be able to catch up for a drink, I can give you some advice, you can teach me to cycle and then come metal detecting. Jesus christ man, we're trying to buck his spirits here! Quick, someone remove his shoelaces and belt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I'm still living in it. She moved out back in September last year. I would stay but it's a bit too much on the mortgage to be comfortable, and it's also far too big for one person. I retain custody of the cats too. I meant the Roomba But house and cats is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Sorry to hear the news anyway Gemmill but sounds like you're alright about it so am not giving you that much sympathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I tried out a few of the dating sites. My advice would be to arrange the first meeting during your lunch hour or whatever so you can get the fuck outta dodge if need be. The false advertising is immense on those sites. You end up being very disappointed. Like Fish's Mrs.[emoji38] My lunch hour? Nobody every brought the sexy to eating a Greggs pastie quite like me, so you could be onto something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hey, if your moving back in with the folks, we'll be able to catch up for a drink, I can give you some advice, you can teach me to cycle and then come metal detecting. This could really work out GRRRRREAAT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2431 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 [emoji38] My lunch hour? Nobody every brought the sexy to eating a Greggs pastie quite like me, so you could be onto something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9008 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 [emoji38] I should open with height/income on my match.com profile then? I started with pictures of people I knew, so girls I couldn't normally get would see me as a stepping stone to better things, worked out well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Who gets the roomba and yoga mats? I actually offered her the Roomba, but she wasn't interested. Seriously. I mean who would stay with a monster like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12767 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Bad crack, Gemmill. You want to watch going on Tinder with your pacemaker though, there's some right tidy boilers on there and we're right in bikini season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I actually offered her the Roomba, but she wasn't interested. Seriously. I mean who would stay with a monster like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hey, if your moving back in with the folks, we'll be able to catch up for a drink, I can give you some advice, you can teach me to cycle and then come metal detecting. This could really work out GRRRRREAAT [emoji38] No plans to move back with parents, so we won't get to live out this particular version of Twins. For the avoidance of doubt, I'm Arnie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Hold on though, she left 9 months ago and you're only now thinking about dating? Pornhub must have getting a fucking hammering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Sorry to hear the news anyway Gemmill but sounds like you're alright about it so am not giving you that much sympathy. Cheers. But aye, the dramarama is long since past, so no sympathy required. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14060 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Quick, someone remove his shoelaces and belt. I can only echo the sentiments expressed by others. Particularly the filthy ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Bad crack, Gemmill. You want to watch going on Tinder with your pacemaker though, there's some right tidy boilers on there and we're right in bikini season. Somebody needs to explain to me how these sites work. Is it true that they call it tinder because you need matches, or is that just someone giving the creators more credit than they deserve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12767 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I, for one, think you should go and give her sister a slab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12767 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Somebody needs to explain to me how these sites work. Is it true that they call it tinder because you need matches, or is that just someone giving the creators more credit than they deserve? You fill out your profile, hoy some info on and then go around looking at other profiles and liking them. If you both like each other, it tells you and then you can send her a picture of your cock and balls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3206 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Bollocks to dating stick to the end away sites. Divorces are expensive the last thing you need is a girlfriend to bleed you dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Bollocks to dating stick to the end away sites. Divorces are expensive the last thing you need is a girlfriend to bleed you dry.Other than the cost of moving, this should be alright. We're still mates and planning to just do one of these "no fault" things that you can do after a couple of years with no solicitor involvement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3206 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Other than the cost of moving, this should be alright. We're still mates and planning to just do one of these "no fault" things that you can do after a couple of years with no solicitor involvement. Good I was a kid in a bad divorce and they suck balls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You fill out your profile, hoy some info on and then go around looking at other profiles and liking them. If you both like each other, it tells you and then you can send her a picture of your cock and balls. [emoji38] Sounds amazing. I need to sort out a decent photo. I'm confident that my incredible online wit will be a winner beyond that initial hurdle. [emoji38] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34595 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Good I was a kid in a bad divorce and they suck balls.Same! No kids here, which makes things a LOT easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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