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Locksmith-“What kind of lock is it?” Mackem Lard- “ Chubb …”

I know it’s meant to be Roman ruins but it reminded of the time when fucking hundreds of them queued up to climb to the top of Penshaw monument. I.e. a slightly higher view from the top of a column already perched on top of a hill

That's gonna need some monstrous lock picks

Apparently Meelan are after him. Would be funny if we took him like we did Botman

He’s eaten them, the fat fuck.

Fake News. There's no blue pop or keeyze.

You're always welcome. We need someone with a truck and hammer 😉

Me or Wideopen’s new Wavy Gravy?

When HMHM is sorted we've said we're gan for a beer. Suppose you could come too

20m euros for Trafford? £17m? That’s cheaper than all the other reports I’ve seen. Decent if true…

Bedevere Henderson running the midfield battalions and Galahad Pickford picking up horse shite at the back.

They’ve won a major trophy and played competitive European football more recently than Gateshead was in County Durham 👍🏻

The Cheeyse stains. He looks like John Prescott’s unwanted brother.

I reckon the whole business with the dead rabbits was just Gemmill off his absolute tits in the first week or two of his new gear… … sorry, medication. He’s been and got two full sleeves of rainbow Celtic tattoos and is in his tie-dye dungarees, flat out on the settee, baked.

"Tak that, Magimus Saudeyus Ponteylandinium!..... Oh, wait, sorry marra, thought ya warra mag! Do yay hate the mags anaarrl? FTM."

Aye, fine for a dip or two. If I went to one their concerts I could see them getting right on my tits before the end, tbh. I wonder if Nigel had the same guitar tech as Hermanos Gutierrez, because he sounds very similar? I do like the “distant” sounding vocals of the lass mind.

I’m alright but I’d be better if I could get a prescription for cannabis. In case anyone’s wondering

.... and DFS still doing deliveries to some tramp's garden in East Boldon.

Wow. I'm getting weed from the DPD man, you're getting MRIs in the Metrocentre. What a time to be alive.

None of your fuc.... I mean, err, waiting to find out my good fellow. Thanks for asking.

Yep. Down a long corridor more or less opposite Gregg's and a club shop then down a lift or stairs, it looks onto a car park adjacent to the A1.