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Looking forward to us winning the Premier League, only to be told it wasn't as good as being in the second division.

I see 'Trent' has now confirmed he's leaving the dippers. Massive wank fest on Sky Sports over a 'world class RB' who actually is shite at defending.

5th place over the past 10 years required 66, 67, 69, 66, 62, 70, 70, 75, 66, 64. Total of 675, so 67.5 on average

I think the next weekends fixtures will be make or break. Newcastle v Chelsea Bournemouth v Villa. Villa have Spurs and Man Utd after that. ABSOLUTE BANKER 6 points.

You were very close NSFW, obvs.

A very stupid man with dreadlocks.

at last.. the penny drops.

Lads. Applying the assumptions outlined, if we get anything less than 69 points (6 from our remaining 3 games), we cannot finish in the CL places. Doesn't matter how we get those points. Obviously if other teams drop points, that changes, but what I was doing is looking at the "where are we cast iron safe regardless of other teams winning all their games?"

Not even close. We'd be on 67 points and Villa would be on 69 (applying assumptions outlined). We'd be fucked.

don't confuse the fucker man, he's been working on his original post since 18.30 yesterday evening.

Draw with Chelsea, lose at Arsenal, win v Everton. Will that be enough? I don’t think Chelsea will be an easy game as I’ve stated many times here. Their starting eleven is very good and can beat anyone on their day. Jackson being back is also a big boost, as although he is a shit finisher he leads the line decently for them.

I thought somebody needed to take control of the situation and actually do the work. Instead of you sat with a bowl of mung beans, trying to count out different amounts for each team.

I mean all of this is already being discussed in other threads, but no you had to start a new topic because you crave the attention. bit like when you sprained your ankle.

You want a fucking hiding is what you want.

I want a spreadsheet chart.

where the fuck is @Tdansmith? always posts some good stuff in this thread. hope you're well mate.

I didn't think I needed to post "and if we get less than 6 points then in basically all scenarios we'd be fucked because even Villa would finish ahead of us" but apparently somebody needed that clarifying for SOMEBODY.

far be it from me to point out the bleeding obvious but.... how about the scenario where we get less than 6 points?

Exec Summary (because thick people) : In a worst case scenario outcome where everyone around us picks up maximum points, we can still guarantee CL qualification in 7 out of 8 possible scenarios if we get a minimum of 6 points from our remaining games. Anything less than 6 points and we need teams around us to start dropping points, so those scenarios haven't been considered. Been looking at results combos this morning, and looking at different scenarios. Assumptions as follows: Everyone takes maximum points from their remaining games, except for when they play one another When they do play one another, we consider both maximum points returns (i.e. Forest beat Chelsea vs Chelsea beat Forest) Villa (+6) and Forest (+14) will not catch Newcastle (+21) and Chelsea (+21) on GD Taking the above assumptions, then: If we get 7 points from our remaining three games, regardless of how those points are earned and regardless of results combinations in the other games, then we absolutely cannot be beaten to a CL place. If we get 6 points from our remaining three games, there is only one scenario (we lose to Chelsea, and Forest beat Chelsea) where we would be at risk of not making it to a CL place. In that one scenario, we've still got a chance but we would need to be ahead of Chelsea on GD. Summary table showing final point positions for each scenarios as follows: Shout if you see anything that I've done wrong.

Don't think PaddockLad wants it tbh.

We could do with Palace beating Forest tonight. That would give us a 3pt buffer with a superior GD over Forest/Villa. Effectively giving us a loss in the bank with 3 games to go.

All this nostalgia proves is that you’re all canny old tbh. I remember the keegan days, but was only 10 when he chucked in the towel, and we got lumbered with the dour Scottish cunt who ruined us. Sir Bobby was in during my formative years and I’d probably say I preferred those times over Keegan purely because I was old enough then to appreciate it. All that before another dour Scottish cunt came in and ruined us again. None of it tops this season though, because you simply can’t compare nearly winning stuff with actually winning something IMO. I’m saying all of this to say once Eddie wraps in be prepared for Moyes ball because we always replace our favourites with a dour Scottish cunt.

sure the percy's open at 10am too or so someone said before the Ipswich game.... fucking better be!

opening times for anyone who is interested. Not sure I have a 7am starts in me