Billy Castell

Tell that to John Lennon! That reedy voiced, mother obsessed, over rated weirdigan has been dead longer than I've been alive, so it would be hard to communicate with him. Smeckles! I have been to Liverpool a few times, and this is what I found. The derby match was one, and both sets of fans were in the same pubs, and there was no hint of it kicking off, the Albert Docks are a waste of a World Heritage Site, Toxteth looks like the riots happened the weekend before and the original design for the Catholic cathedral would have made Hitler and Speer proud in terms of scale. I couldn't live in Liverpool though because of the accent.

So Barton and Nolan look likely to go? That is dire news for Newcastle, since they've been brilliant for you season just gone.

I like it. Being from Bedford, I can say it is better on a pump than in a bottle somehow. Charles Wells do something called Banana Bread Beer too, which does taste like all three things. It's quite nice. However, avoid their Eagle beer like bubonic plague. It is absolute shit, and I am not sure I have ever finished a pint. Worst beer I've ever had.

Jordan would have Gareth Gates for the national anthem before kick off too. Good to feminism and suchlike being put to good use.

That many players? Christ on a bike, that slag would fuck anyone in her one-eyed pursuit of fame. If that list is true, then she is an insatiable celebrity cock gobbler.

The one on the right looks like he has escaped from Crocodile Dundee II, and the one on the left seems to have got his dress sense from Kevin and Perry, but on a TV with dodgy colour. I can see why you say all those things about Sunderland now.

Barrack's getting stuck in though by the looks of things. Don't blame Michelle, Guinness/stout is shit.

A vastly over rated player, who'll be overpriced and will demand silly wages. He thinks he's good enough for Barca, but he's about Cardiff's level.

We're actually reffering to this Pete Doherty.

I think the story is that Hiddink and Van Basten will form a duo much like Big Ron Atkinson and Gordon Strachan did at Coventry. But with more pornography, mild cheese and weed, and far less cheap jewelry, racism and relegation.

Why should Fergie be concerned? Is it Charlie Sheen? Col. Gaadafi? Rock of Gibraltar? Fergie's wife?

I'd not do that job even if I was Hiddink. Roman is the new Deadly Doug, and goes through managers like nobodies business since Jose was sacked. Still, if Carlo fancies staying on in England, I'm sure he'd be welcome at Ewood Park...........Mind you I think Ian Huntley will only be slightly less popular than Kean as manager.

Probably the same again unless we get a real manager. The Rao brothers will tell the world we're signing Kaka, Pirlo and Benzema, but we'll end up with Jerome Anderson's nephew (we signed his son already), Carlton Cole and Santa Cruz. Steve Kean will still be manager, as he's practically the 3rd Rao brother (Moe I think), and Anderson and the chicken shaggers will continue to embarrass the club and the fans.

So the initials (e.g. CTB) are made up in these cases then as a further barrier. And what is the TSE story? More shagging? Although I think famous people should have a private life, justice demands that the press torpedo these super injunctions, as they can be used to cover up much more serious stuff providing they can bribe a friendly judge.

Good to see Wimbledon back in the league. I've got my valium for this afternoon.

Keith Andrews for £3m!

Imogen that*. Must be a lot of people with sleep disorders. *=Legal disclaimer: I know he is not involved in the super-injuction case so don't bother suing me, or anyone involved at toontastic.net

I'd be surprised if he did cut funds. He'd lose a fair few votes from the 'Israel can do no wrong' bunch. You're right about the relianceon the aid though.

There will never be any peace in the middle east. Not until someone removes the ultra orthodox dickheads and the lobby in the USA who back them up. And that will never happen, just like the settlers will never be removed from the West bank, and Israel will never be brought to book over the countless human rights abuses and atrocities.

Apart from when he breaks into your house, or you come across one of his, or his pals used needles. As the yanks say, you commit the crime, you do the time. He did the crime many, many times.

Well I'm no expert, but I'd like to inflitrate these groups, then kill them in their beds on the sly. Putting bombs in town centres is a spineless act and frankly an atrosity. Those responsible should be prepared to find an assassin in their homes if they want to play those games.

It probably makes me a bad person, but I want to see that junkie cockhole put away for 10 years, and wouldn't be sad to see him die in prison. As stated before, artists and other walks of life have had figures producing the goods despite their addictions, but Pete is a talentless little smackrat who steals from friends robs the world of oxygen and until now got away with repeated drugs offences. I have no sympathy for him at all, it was his choice start taking that crap and end up using it in industrial quantities. People his age should realise that the heavy duty shit should be avoided-it's the message in all the dramas on TV, at school and so on. I also hate the 18 year old T4 watching, Camden tight trousered brigade who think he is some sort of genius. He is a waste of blood and organs, and should be used by the Marines as target practice. After all, his habits fund the Taliban.

Fucking cowards. If they're caught, they should be tortured and executed. No more of this early release bollocks. 99% of Northern Ireland are enjoying the relative peace, whatever their political and religious outlook and want to move on. Hence the visit from the Queen to the Republic. Just who do these dick sucking verminous cretins think they're representing? The bad old days are over. And the cheerleaders for these cunts should be silenced, even if it means doing a Mossad and kidnapping a few twats in Boston.

Do you think this bloke who predicted this will not answer his phone etc. if he's still here? Surely he'll have to leave town and disappear to keep up the pretence that he's gone to heaven.

I think his films are arty shit. He's as bad as Michael Bay or whatever the Pearl Harbour/Transfomers moron is called.