Howmanheyman

And now for something completely different.......... ......Who is BillyTray and why does he/she never post? Post something, anything, or you don't exist!!

Was supposed to be taking my folks to the airport in the last hour but my Mam has been bad again, she was in hospital about 6 weeks ago and it's something where nerves don't help. Feel sorry for them as this would probably have been their last foreign holiday after having none at all until about ten years ago, (they're in their late sixties).

My Dad's similar but it's the Germans he loves, (He spent a few years there in the 60's), "I tell you what, them Germans mind, wouldn't surprise me if they done well this year" etc. P.S. He was apoplectic when Frank Ri-card (might as well spell it phonetically) spat at Voeller.

I would runawayyyyyyy, I would runawayyyyy with the Corrs, Cos I I I Have falling in luh uh uh urve, Wi-i-i-th them etc etc.

CT: "Is it true your other four senses make up for the loss of sight?" Blind Gadgie: "Aye, in a way." CT: "Wowwww! How good must a bacon sandwich smell?"

You just know CT told him how much he loved the video of 'hello' by Lional Richie.

"As eenterior meenister of Jumpervillov Sofia I cannot condone such beehaveehor of ze hoodees..........but ze cocksucker deed play for our rivals, (may their ballsacks fester and their anuses seizwe up)."

"Weelcomm to jumpervillov Sofia..........Twinned with Albania, Alabama, Cleethorpes and Sunderland."

Newcastle United playing in a blue away kit against a team playing in red? The team in blue should be playing in black & white, the team in red should be playing in blue. The team in red who should be playing in blue have now got the owners son's mate sorting the transfers out, (allegedly), the team in blue who should've been in black & white have only relatively recently got their traditional name of the stadium back amongst other gaffes made by their owner. Modern football eh?

I knew it!! Desmond is David Brent!

I tell you what, if anything ever happens to Mrs HMHM, I'm going to marry one of those sisters and let them look after me and my kids, we'll move to a farmhouse in the Irish countryside and on a night they'll have a few impromptu jamming sessions by a roaring fireplace, the craic will be good and later on when we go to bed I'll have some mighty fine sexual interflora with the lucky Corr sister of my choice. Lovely.

The bloke got a sympathy text from Steve Bruce by all accounts. He put his phone back in his pocket and got another one off Rafa. Incredibly he then put the phone away only to get a third text from JFK saying, "Oiwight Steve, just ter let yer know yer boys can cahm rahnd termowow ter fit me new dahble glasing windahs, I might be dahn the rub a dub dub with Mike but 'err indoors is expecting yer."

Good news at last for the Posties and the general public who did not buy shares! They might end up worse off in the long run but at least ewerk and desmondtutu get a little backhander. Long live privatisation! Pictured; Man, who may or may not be known as CT receiving confirmation he's been successful in his bid to buy Royal Mail shares.

They're European Mackems, the new manager played for their rivals, FC Sofia di'Castille Uniteflot.

It's total use was pathetic as well as confusing.

Stupid mugs in this thread, mongs aplenty in the politics thread, Phil's not coming across too well right now, is he?

Did I enjoy our goals and play yesterday? Of course. Do I think we'll never be anything other than a middling club who will never achieve anything at all under this regime and gradually regress as a club? Absolutely.

I don't forget things either so remember who put us there in the first place.

CT, check your PM's for your 'ok, so I'm Gay. What next?' welcome pack. It includes footballers rainbow laces, David Beckham and Zanetti pics and Meenzer's guide to the Eurovision song contest amongst others.

Won £34 on us conceding from half time till 59.59 mins. Had a feeling we'd do ok here but also felt we'd let one in if we were winning at half time. Pleased it stayed at one obviously.

Wasn't expecting these to be as shit as they've been so far.

Their looks or their patter?

Love the way Remy can pass the ball into the net.

Ideally we'll hit them on the break if cardiff go for it.

They're giving us room to pass and we're taking it to be fair. I'll be amazed if they give us the same space second half.