ewerk

Miggy contributed three goals and one assist over the whole of last season, Murphy is decent but not top class. RW is the one area that we haven’t improved since the takeover and is well overdue an upgrade.

He better be a success because no other club is going to hire the fucking snake after all this.

Her dad taught her the technique.

It all depends how it’s accounted for I suppose. For simplicity’s sake, if it were a straight swap and we agreed with Wolves to value both players at £50m then that’s £50m straight profit for each side and gives massive FFP wiggle room.

Apparently we offered cash + Elliot Anderson for Max Kilman. (Rejected by Wolves).

That’ll be two signings this summer both with poor injury records. Given our record last season at keeping players fit it does look like a real risk.

He was utter shite for most of last season when he wasn’t on injured. The only good thing I can see about this is that Everton are broke and this leaves them with two forwards who managed three goals between them last season.

He spends 30 seconds railing against gardening leave which he doesn’t think exists in the business world but other than that, when asked what he’s changing, he just waffles for two minutes throwing in the odd buzz word like ‘intensity’. The man is obviously completely clueless about what is needed.

It’s this sort of nonsense that lost you your job as a Saudi executioner.

In fairness to Southgate he hasn’t had a whole lot of time to prepare for this situation. No one expected Philips form to drop off a cliff after two years of not playing football.

He’s been doing such a sterling job lately he deserves a few weeks off.

They’ve even managed to spell ‘unsheathed’ wrong.

Fucking furlough.

I’m afraid I haven’t got a prime spot at the pool this afternoon. I spent the morning out on a beach buggy tour with the wife and a smoking hot blonde Slovenian mother and daughter combo. Of course we were caked in muck come our final stop at the beach where I took a dip in the water to wash off. Not so the blonde mother who had brought a change of clothes and was happy to strip down to her underwear right beside me. Sadly the daughter didn’t follow suit but I’m in desperate need of an external hard drive to expand my wank bank.

You’re putting a little too much thought into it. This is not the blart I was referring to, they’re all young American hotties and tbh I think I’d have been better staying down there to watch them rather than this shite with a bunch of English boilers.

‘England bucket hats have been removed. I repeat. England bucket hats have been removed.’ This is what you’ve done to the country, Gareth.

I did see said slapper bent over the bar wearing a thong shortly after this pic but unfortunately my levels of perviness don’t match yours so the I decided not to take the snap. Plus the wife would slap the head off me if she saw it on my phone.

The only problem is that the place is full of Americans. Not just normal Americans but those from the south east so bad goatees and golf hats all round, even some of the women.

Not a million miles away, I’m in Cap Cana a little further east.

I’ve so far managed to dodge the roaming hordes of 6ft 4 brick shithouses wielding plastic swords. Difficult to tell if they’re mackems or not because not a single one is wearing their top on holiday.

Greetings from the Dominican Republic, well the blart is well and truly off the chart.

Yeah but underneath that high vis…

Gemmill’s predictions continue to get worse.