bobbyshinton

Hot chinese curry

After yesterdays little antics I'm not too worried about using too much space. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the director of nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news." "The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays a sound mind." "The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?" worst yit

3 cats One prefers spag bol etc One loves seafood One loves to eat spiders inc webs A bloke with 3 cats I have not got 3 cats They've got me

3 cats One prefers spag bol etc One loves seafood One loves to eat spiders inc webs

I think we all do it. My favourites Chow mein and a good vindaloo. They always seem better the next day, as for food poisoning never suffered yet. Sometime I find a cat print in the sauce, never mind

eh, what happens if only three are injured? They break a couple of legs

Aye but they sat in the directors box

Colon is just beyond the rectum therefore risk of perforation is pretty high depending on what you're sticking up there. I've had a few patients in the past who have accidently ended up with various things up there and one of them ended up with a colostomy. Just - Why would you?! Never mind colon, I'd puncture a lung tbf. Joke! It's weird but you get lasses who're actually well up for it (ie they will suggest it). I've always suspected something like that to be the case re anatomy and for that reason I don't partake. Can't enjoy it thinking I'm going to possibly end up hurting the other party. In a massive twist of irony, I realise that probably makes me sound gay. There is a gay section of Millwall hooligans Imagine getting filled in by one (no pun intended)

It's ronnie Gill

Since I said I was coming, Gemmill bottled it, and there has been no mention of another meet up

Sounds more like greed/selfishness than jealousy tbh. Though theyre probably not polar opposites I spose. Aye probably the lot

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. "Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before." The doctor reassured her, "A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "On my bollocks....." Howay that was funny man

that geordie pride one is lump in the throat time. I'm 2 seconds away from being on it. When Tino is signing in the snow my daughter gets his autograph

Are you the jealous type. When I was young I was very jealous in a negative way. If someone had something I wanted, but could not get, I would destroy it or wreck it. Now still the jealous type, but I use the jealousy to motivate myself and strive to get what I want by hard work. So I class this as a positive jealousy.

Some day a real rain's gonna come..... If owts going to happen it will be to us. Imagine if the club is deducted points cos we pulled a cunts trick to get boumsong on our team. FFS

It must be a mental problem now, back of his mind. Having said that I detest the little twat, but if he plays well I can put up with him

was this a piss take

Must be he had pictures of his venus out and he is always on about your anus

People you don't know? There is a bloke I have said hello to for about 2 years, every work day. Don't know who he is. Also a receptionist at a clients, have canny patter with her but have never met her in a good few years of talks. They would miss me Oh and you lot

Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint. Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro." "What do you mean it is illegal?" asked the driver. "Quattro means four" replies Paddy. "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the driver retorts disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You can not pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law." The driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" "Sorry," responds Paddy, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno." nobody made you read it

Last time that happened shay spat his dummy out

got the beard

that reads like Greek

Is anyone out there thats post here a Muslim? Do you live in the Newcastle area? I would like to here you veiw on being a Muslim at the moment, are you experiencing extra racialism, are you a supporter of the church burning etc. Do you hate the English, Christians etc?

Tell him I have a couple of jokes to cheer him up.