Meenzer

FYP

"I want to look like a chef and use the real stuff" The words of the same man when I suggested using ginger from a jar instead of fresh. How the tubby have fallen.

Of course this exists...

Duly noted. I'm not really dieting though.

"Anyone got any good recipes for bullfinch pizza?"

Well that's spoiled the ending now. THANKS.

Done!

Packy Birthday! Wait, that sounds wrong.

Crikey, that means my BMI is almost back to CT levels and I'm still a blubbery mess. The cherry tomato-fuelled race is on.

I'm starting to think they must represent some kind of god figure in your food religion.

The way those veg are going to be mistreated as soon as they hit your kitchen, growing them at all is practically akin to child abuse.

Nah, it's one of our many Oxford-educated arseholes in key government positions. To wit: (Quality bit of post-riot Photoshopping there. )

"Remember when I promised our sovereign debt wouldn't be downgraded? I LIED"

Chuck another drongo on the genepool, cobber

Served in one of these:

Somewhere Turkish, judging by the stuff in the background. I am not convinced that's the product of an authentic ocakbaşı grill though...

(but he's not even a gluton)

"Couldn't find a script so used a raw mushroom hacked in two with a meat cleaver"

I shall brook no mockery from a man who hasn't been able to do a Herr Flick for a decade.

Have you not just put her high heels on?

You lot will put me out of a job.

Melting it down.