Meenzer

Ahh, that explains your posts tonight. Don't worry, you're an excellent advert for sobriety.

Textbook.

"Please keep in mind that there are those out there who create conspiracy theories and accompanying evidence as a hobby. With modern technology it is getting easier and easier to do. This may or may not be one of those times."

I had a glans at the menu, they really shaft you on the drinks.

I can't believe you actually went to Peckham. (Nothing wrong with Peckham, I just can't believe you went there.)

They say that to tempt you inside, then you read the menu and it's all:

A fine combination.

LINE-UPS- Southampton v Newcastle (15:00 GMT) Southampton: Boruc, Chambers, Fonte, Lovren, Shaw, Cork, Steven Davis, Ward-Prowse, Lallana, Rodriguez, Lambert. Subs: Schneiderlin, Ramirez, Do Prado, Gazzaniga, Hooiveld, Reed, Gallagher. Newcastle: Elliot, Yanga-Mbiwa, Williamson, Coloccini, Haidara, Tiote, Anita, Sissoko, Ben Arfa, Gouffran, Cisse. Subs: Santon, Gosling, De Jong, Shola Ameobi, Steven Taylor, Dummett, Alnwick. Referee: Andre Marriner (W Midlands)

So apparently there's a match on today. Try not to get too excited, everybody.

If you're cooking for me every night, I'll get used to the stubble rash.

Cauliflower cheese is the best way to eat cauliflower. With tons of melty cheese. And bacon. And more cheese on top. And hold the cauliflower.

at all of this

He's having to drink for two now when we go out, the poor lamb.

Oh god, I know exactly how this continues ("anyone tried making tagine pie?") and exactly how it ends ("couldn't find apricots so used boiled sweets").

More like "oh christ, cauliflower again?"

Ah yes. Less bad. Kind of.

"Wallpusher cunts" is what I remember it being.

He was a bit naughty, to be fair.

Shamrock Rovers?