GeordieMessiah

30 degrees, 20 degrees..so much precision in terms of defecating posture and yet so little finesse being shown in the arse wiping habits. I like to play the banjo whilst I pinch off a good length of cable.

Would this nefarious activity by BT go some way to explaining why my email inbox gets inundated by filthy porn-related spam?

Yup. I think that's done it, Happy. Job done. Thread killed.

I'm confused. See - that article talks about a Huge Heiffer...but I'm pretty sure they've got themselves mixed up with this fella...

Ah...Peter Purves...bless his cottons...

I've just checked and it was actually Travel Inn, not Travelodge. Aye, I stayed there too and the shower stank of piss and the room was right above the Hammersmith & City line and it was horrible. You'd be best off getting a wee bit away from Kings Cross if possible.

Without the make up she looks a bit like Tamsin Outhwaite.

Had some second thoughts and thought perhaps I'd go for something more refined, more classical so: Adagio for Strings - Barber Song for Athene - John Tavener Lacrimosa from Requiem in D minor - Mozart Miserere Mei, Deus - Allegri and for the cremation: Toccata in D minor - Mozart

As they wheel the coffin into the crematorium: "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis As the coffin disappears into the furnace: "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps

Smaller.

But not as appalling as your spelling, Tooj.

A bold decision, and one which shows you've already got the nuts for that sort of job in the first place. Hope it all works out for you. I'm in awe of paramedics. Think they're amazing.

Needs to be. Park Life prepares his bizarre wanking equipment...

Oh, that was just inspired HF. Didn't see that one coming at all. Totally leftfield. Brilliant!

I hear the burial ground is getting short on space - already they're having to double up on grave spaces - they're packing them in like sardines down there.... Is this thread dead yet?

The sheer scale of fish-punnery in this thread just keeps getting batter and batter...thankfully nobody has yet gone overboard and everything's still relatively reelistic, so it gets my seal of approval...

Oh Fishy Fishface, that last attempt was so limpets unbelievable.

No need to be so crabby.

Was never that fond of the bloke myself - always thought there was something a bit disturbing about a salty old bearded seadog being quite so keen to feed his fishy fingers to unsuspecting kids...and what was with his insistence that he'd only have the best at the Captain's table..and how come Social Services never got called out?

People seem to be casting their nets far and wide in search of these fishy quips.

Not as front line as Harry. Def didnt kill anyone. Too busy nailing Koo Stark, probably