paddy

sounds like a cock

condolences mate, it may sound stupid now but it will get easier

lets hope he's not too shy shy

goooooood mornin!

aye she's canny

she gonna kick your butt

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is considering sending Theo Walcott, who cost the club £12m as a 16-year-old, out on loan as the forward's struggles at the Emirates continue. (The Sun, Daily Mail) Tottenham are set to complete the signing of Juventus midfielder Tiago Mendes this week, with Middlesbrough winger Stewart Downing and Rangers right-back Alan Hutton to follow. (Daily Mail) Manchester City have targeted Sevilla's £9m-rated Brazilian striker Luis Fabiano after failing to land Bayern Munich frontman Lucas Podolski (Daily Mail) Although City boss Sven-Goran Eriksson could look to Real Zaragoza frontman Diego Milito instead. (The Times) Wigan hope to beat Fulham to the signing of Watford striker Marlon King with talks between the player and the London club continuing to stall. (Daily Mail) Newcastle manager Kevin Keegan hopes to make Middlesbrough centre-half Jonathan Woodgate his first signing, warding off interest from Tottenham in the process. (Various) Keegan is also keen on Dynamo Zagreb's £15m-rated Croatia international midfielder Luka Modric. (The Sun) As well as Lazio forward Goran Pandev, who claims Newcastle have launched a bid for him. (The Times) While Boro boss Gareth Southgate could use the money received for Woodgate to launch a £13m bid to sign AZ Alkmaar striker Afonso Alves. (The Sun, The Times) Middlesbrough are also interested in out-of-favour Tottenham keeper Paul Robinson, with Blackburn Rovers and Everton also keeping tabs on the player. (The Times) Sunderland have made a third and final offer of £5m for Reading midfielder Stephen Hunt. (The Times) Leicester manager Ian Holloway has been told he must pay £2m if he is to sign David Norris from former club Plymouth. (Daily Star) Watford boss Adrian Boothroyd wants to sign Fulham striker Collins John on loan for the rest of the season. (Guardian) Bristol City hope to complete the £750,000 signing of Celtic striker Derek Riordan in the next 24 hours. (Guardian) West Brom and Watford are battling it out to sign Sheffield Wednesday midfielder Glenn Whelan. (Daily Star) QPR will make a bid for out-of-favour Aston Villa keeper Thomas Sorensen after shelving plans to sign Dutchman Stefan Postma. (Various) Leeds' offer of £250,000 for forward Jason Puncheon has been turned down by Barnet. (The Times) OTHER GOSSIP Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov has pledged to stay at the club until at least the summer, claiming their victory over Arsenal on Tuesday proved they can break into the Premier League's "Big Four". (Various) Wigan manager Steve Bruce will hold "heart-to-heart" talks with error-prone defender Titus Bramble before deciding whether to risk him in Saturday's FA Cup tie at Chelsea. (The Sun, The Times) Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan is pressing ahead with plans to play Joey Barton in Saturday's FA Cup fourth-round match against Arsenal, even though the midfielder has to be back at Champneys Health Spa in Hampshire - where he is receiving help for problems with alcohol - before 1900 GMT. (Daily Star) Southampton fans would welcome Glenn Hoddle back to the club as manager, as long as he apologises for quitting the Saints for Tottenham in 2001. (Daily Star) However, Southampton could opt instead for former Fulham and Real Sociedad manager Chris Coleman instead, with George Burley set to take over as the new Scotland boss. (Daily Mail) Back to top AND FINALLY Tottenham sporting director Damien Comolli has apologised to Arsene Wenger after the Arsenal manager was sprayed with champagne by Spurs players during his post-match interviews following Tuesday's Carling Cup semi-final. Assistant Spurs manager Gus Poyet is believed to have been the intended target for Jermain Defoe and two other players. (Various) Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has accused Liverpool's owners of lacking "class" in revealing they approached Jurgen Klinsmann over succeeding Rafael Benitez as manager at Anfield. (Various) And the Scot believes the situation will not only impede the Reds' hopes of making new signings, but has already cost them the title this season. (Various) Thomas Bendtner, father and agent to Arsenal striker Nicklas, has hit out at Emmanuel Adebayor following the Togo striker's clash with his son against Spurs on Tuesday, saying: "It's sad that he doesn't take his head with him onto the field." (Various) Penalty kings Bristol Rovers have offered to share their spot-kick expertise with the country after dispatching Crystal Palace, Leyton Orient and Fulham in shoot-outs this season. (Daily Express)

Jonathan Woodgate is being lined up for a sensational return to Newcastle United Football Club. The England international enjoyed a fine eighteen month spell at St James Park before moving to Real Madrid for £14million in August 2004, yet his time in Spain was blighted by a series of injuries. Woodgate actually rejected the chance to return to the Magpies when he came back to England, instead opting for his hometown club Middlesbrough who forked out £7million to take him to the Riverside Stadium. And in a move that would stun and dismay the Boro faithful, it now appears that the 27-year-old is on the brink of joining Kevin Keegan’s Newcastle revolution, with a fee of £9million being thrashed out between the clubs. Reports claim Woodgate met United officials in the past 48 hours, and the move could even be tied up for the weekend FA Cup clash at Arsenal – in which he would be eligible to play after missing Boro’s third round tie at Bristol City.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article717123.ece

1. got a banging headache 2. need a kip 3. cannot be arsed to get up and get something for 1 or do 2 4. am slowly getting into facebook 5. vowed never to use face book

dont tell jimbo, this could send him over the edge

i think that was umbro?? he has fingers in loadsapies

funny

melow birds tbh

Newcastle owner Mike Ashley is planning a swoop to bring David Beckham to St James' Park. (Mirror) Tottenham have rekindled their interest in Rangers full-back Alan Hutton and hope to complete an £8m move. (Various) Spurs have also agreed a fee with Juventus for former Chelsea midfielder Tiago Mendes. (Various) Fulham are hoping to sign 30-year-old former Manchester United striker Erik Nevland from Viking Stavanger. (Various) Roy Hodgson has also had a £2.5m bid rejected by Rangers for French striker Daniel Cousin. (Various) Sunderland manager Roy Keane is planning a £1.5m bid for Manchester United full-back Philip Bardsley. (Various) Harry Redknapp wants Peter Crouch to quit Liverpool and join him at Portsmouth. (Various) Redknapp has also been linked with a move for former Liverpool and Aston Villa striker Milan Baros, who currently plays for Lyon. (Various) Pompey will also make a move for Villa's Czech Republic midfielder Patrick Berger. (Various) Kevin Keegan is ready to offer Manchester City and England defender Micah Richards £70,000 a week to join him at Newcastle. (Daily Mail) Arsenal are considering a £7m summer move for West Ham goalkeeper Robert Green. (Daily Express) Juventus are hoping to resurrect a move for Liverpool midfielder Mohammed Sissoko. (Various) West Ham have been linked with a move for Villarreal's £3m-rated Argentine midfielder Leandro Somoza. (Independent) Everton are interested in signing Portsmouth midfielder Sean Davis. (Times) Croatia under-21 midfielder Domagoj Vida has turned down a move to Liverpool. (Various) Reading left-back Nicky Shorey is set to sign a new contract that will make him the highest-paid player at the club. (Various) Back to top AND FINALLY Havant and Waterlooville chairman Marcus Hackney has urged potential Liverpool investors DIC to buy his club rather than the Merseysiders. (Sun) Graeme Murty has said he will be "ruthless in his revenge" after a Reading team-mate stole the shirt given to him by Cristiano Ronaldo. (Various) Bury caretaker manager Chris Brass played for Hyde United after his side's weekend game was called off. (Guardian) Steve McLaren has said the lack of quality English players cost him his job as England manager. (Daily Mail)

owt happing??

many a post match Ruby had in his place R.I.P

Subway tbh

KEVIN KEEGAN made a sensational return to Newcastle last night, sparking astonishing scenes on Tyneside. The Toon legend, back at St James’ Park 4,025 days after quitting as boss, was named as the shock replacement for Sam Allardyce. Keegan, 56, watched from the directors’ box as Newcastle beat Stoke 4-1 in their FA Cup third-round replay — to seal a fourth-round clash at Arsenal. He said: “It’s nice to be home. I’m delighted to be back.” And Toon chairman Chris Mort added: “I think we’ve got the right man in the end.” Keegan, out of the game since leaving Manchester City in 2005, has signed a 3½-year deal worth a whopping £20million. The news triggered waves of Keeganmania across Newcastle, with fans snapping up shirts emblazoned with their messiah’s name. At 2.30pm yesterday only 30,000 tickets had been sold for last night’s clash. When news of his appointment broke, thousands more were sold in minutes. The ex-England chief, who has been running his soccer school in Glasgow, landed the job following a final round of talks yesterday and will be given a £50m war chest by owner Mike Ashley to spend now and in the summer. He will also move quickly to appoint a No 2, with Derek Fazackerley — his long-time aide who is currently at Manchester City — in the running along with Chris Coleman, John Carver and Portsmouth assistant Tony Adams.