Andrew

My shoulder hurts. Bloody royals.

@Tom, how did you do on the dimebag guitar?

Oh it does, be careful with the Veet though! Or the clippers

Best of luck with it Strawb, hope all goes well.

Mario is excellent but my times a little limited lately so I've been defaulting to Zelda since I can duck in and out and keep up with it. Zelda btw, god its good. If you have a Switch or a Wii U and haven't played it you must.

Hes completely unreliable as he’s basically made of already broken glass that’s been shoddily glued back together

Im not, clear indicator to both that to play for England they need to be elsewhere, especially Lascelles who will see a shite Jones whose blushes have been spared by his keeper and incredible number of times and a busted Cahill playing in his position and ought to be thinking he has to move this summer when offers inevitably come.

Three of Sportings directors have been arrested.

If only that was the wierdest thing going on at the top of the league in Portugal https://www.fourfourtwo.com/news/porto-accuse-benfica-hierarchy-hiring-a-witch-doctor

Portugal, particularly sporting, can get a bit wierd like that it actually wouldn't surprise me. Perfect time to swoop in and nab a few good players!

Losing the league, Sporting, Benfica and Porto will always be the top three but it was close this year and they still finished third. Not that its justified of course.

Madam Lallana (that autocorrected but it’s staying) who got sent off in an u23s match on his way back to fitness for losing his shit and trying to fight a kid. shelveys temperament though

He definitely hasn't been being fast.

...Welbeck?

The thing I'm not sure about when we're discussing signings is What does Rafa want from his first choice striker? What kind of player is he, who is "that kind" of player even if they're not realistic? I really don't know, we've had Gayle, Joselu and Mitro over the last two years but there isn't really a common thread between the three so much, particularly Gayle and Joselu as the two rafa actually signed. Slimani as well I guess which implies a target man but he played so little that Ive no idea how we'd play if he had that player there, he preferred Gayle to him for the most part in the second half of the season anyway.

Or maybe, some POPE! Sorry

Harts been told hes not going apparently, maybe there is some hope after all.

They'll still want Silva

I suppose who you think will go and who should aren't always going to be the same. Southgate is a boring man, a boring manager who will pick a boring squad. Pope should go but He'll take Hart Lascelles should go but Mawson or Maguire will, possibly Smalling Shelvey should but Livermore, Wilshere, Winks or even Barkley will be more likely chosen. I actually think barkley might be an outside bet tbh, hes the most like Oxlade-Chamberlain of the other "maybe" players and southgate wants someone to run the ball from midfield rather than pass it

There are plenty of players who have shown to be knobs both on and off the pitch for a variety of reasons. Not taking Shelvey with that as the justification is horse-shit. Wilshere and Livermore specifically are the players who will likely go instead of him, both have plenty of issues you could level at them and say they aren't fit to play for England both on and off the pitch.

He can fire out wide and switch the play very quickly. Last time out englands way of getting the ball from the defence to the forwards was for oxlade chamberlain to dribble it and then end up in the situation you mentioned before. shelvey drops in and takes that ball and fires it forwards, recently with pinpoint accuracy and consistency

Just read it, shite.

Will you fuck off with the new accounts?

They've left out at least two players who I am sure would start for us in Alex Sandro and Fabinho

Tuchel to PSG confirmed