Renton

Offside.

Fuck.

They're out-pressing us and out-shithousing us here.

That was better though. Villa can't keep this up surely.

Urghh. It's like it must be to play against us. Thus is horrific. We've been out-Newcastled. Hope we hold on with just the one goal deficit until half time.

Wow, now SJP is like the death star. And it's got grey cladding, like, erm, most stadiums? Yeah, as I've said before, I wish instead of having one of the most impressive cantilevered glass roofs in the world it was made of corrugated iron like the mackems' cow shed. I actually love the uniqueness of SJP like. The scale of it is actually impressive. Like the OP here, I walk past it 3 days a week and it still impresses. I just hope they can pull off the Gallowgate extesnion and make it a proper horseshoe, and then it's finished for me.

The level of delusion is astonishing. The SoL has the best loaction in the country by a mile apparently. For anyone wondering, the Sheepfolds is currently an area of contiguous scrap yards last seen on Breaking Bad without the nice weather. They're planning a housing estate on this which will be an obvious improvement but maybe not befitting the best location in the UK marra. This new pedestrian footbridge they're building, to connect the Sheepfolds with Yates wine bar in the city centre or whatever, is going to be a concrete brutalist structure coming already equipped with anti-suicide fences.

Well that's another thing, most of them geninely believe if they beat us next time we meet it's 7 in a row,, despite the last match being a draw. They're fucking mental man.

It's so moronic it's surreal. They regard each passing day of this record as some kind of success, when in fact it is THE EXACT OPPOSITE. It's literally a measure of how shit they are. They're also always going on about how the "6 in a row" broke us. Seemingly blithely unaware that immediately prior to this we did them "5 in a row" and quite honestly didn't even notice. It's also a fact we've still won four more league derbies than them. Of course this would in all likelihood be considerably higher if they had the decency to stay in the top division with us instead of cowering in the lower divisions.

Mackem's are currently celebrating the 10th anniversary of an Italian Fascist leading their club to a Derby victory. And of course every day brings a new celebration to them as their unbeaten run continues.

They do love banging on about these concerts. As you say, I thought the cost benefit didn't really justify us bothering with this due to there being fuck all in it for a premier club and thepotential for pitch damage. For all they bang on about the SoL being a superior concert venue, have they even said why?

I think Cardiff is a canny city tbh. Sunderland would be moreon a level with Newport.

That's where the (factually untrue) comparison falls down like. To get to Sunderland you literally have to pass through Newcastle. And very likely have to stay in Newcastle as there are fuck all hotel rooms in Sunderland. Why would anyone want the hassle of getting the metro to travel to the SoL when they could just walk to SJP at their doorstep. Also funny how the mackems are bigging up the "Magetro" as they like to call it (seriously) when it suits. Trying to be as objective as I can about the SoL, it was a decent enough ground last time I was there, more than 10 years ago. I don't think it was the match of SJP in terms of any of its metrics though. And the less said the better about Sunderland city centre. Usually it would be a good thing for a ground to be close to the city centre, but here not so much. I saw England play Turkey and by far it was the worst experience I have had at a football match. It was just rampant racism and violence aginast the Turkish supporters, including young kids. Now to be fair this won't just have been down to the local population but also the visiting English fans. But you can just tell the place has a "Tommy Robinson" feel to it. Maybe it's improved but I doubt it.

He's a "winger" so will be a genuine mackem, but tbf I think he is being sarcastic/taking the piss. Because on a slightly more serious point, some mackems are actually just people like us, and there are some normal ones amongst them. Just as you wouldn't want to characterise all NUFC supporters as being like Steve Wraith, not all mackem are knackers. But a larger than normal proportion obviously are. Which is why I actually pity the normal ones. You don't have much choice in who you support. If you were unfortunate to be born a mackem, even if you were from the better bits (erm, Ashbrook, Seaburn?) you kind of have to support that team. So not only do you have to put up with living in a shit city (until you're old/rich enough to get out), support a fucking walking embarassment of a club, but you also have to put up with a fellow support base, a large proportion of which who are fucking rancid. That's why I say, hug a mackem today. Especially if that mackem is Lauren Laverne.

They remind me of failed contestants on the Apprentice. In the taxi interview on their way home, they always say how they're going to make it big whatever Sugar says, and he'd better watch out. Never to be heard of again*. * Except Stuart Baggs who made the news when he died.

Jinx. Anyway, for your list you could have added that SJP is an historical European ground, having hosted several dozen club games there over the years, and set to do so again. Ask compared with the SoL with *checks notes* 0 (zero) matches.

Or just playing shit. "I'm Dill Danding"......

Just keep the dog away from the plumber when he does it I would think?

Anybody got an opinion on the value of power flushing an old C/H system?

Rick's first draft Oh Felicity, Felicity You fill me with electricity. Like putting your nob in a plug socket Except you haven't got one (a nob that is, I'm sure you have a plug socket or how would you play your "Shape up and dance" aerobics record? You wouldn't that's how). Rick's second draft Oh Felicity, Felicity You fill me with electricity. Isn't that shocking? Your timeless, silken, loveliness is so smashing I want to wander through it, gorgeously naked Unashamed of the spots on my bottom. You are so nice. Without crabs or lice. Like a proper girly ought to be. Your second name is Kendal, You are like the mint cake, Cool, fresh and nice to suck If I had a tin of Alphabetti Spaghetti, I'd spell "I love you". How about a quick bonk?

Ha, no offence at all. I've stayed in both loads and think they're a similar level personally. Both are better than Bowness, that's for sure. My main place is Ullswater or if I'm flush you can't beat Grasmere. A big factor is rhe North Lakes are very close to Newcastle. I know Alex stays a lot in the the Southern Lakes including Eskdale which I mean to get round to.

Sounds like you've had a great time but not sure I know what you mean by this? Keswick's probably bigger but plenty of nice places to stay and eat there. Derwent water has some lush places too and you've got loads of options for Borrowdale, Honister, Buttermere, Newlands Valley etc. Basically everywhere in the lakes is fantastic though. I'm looking forward to a break there in May.

Fake news.

On a bit of a tangent here but has anyone with kids seen the state of this comic now? Fatty is now Freddy, Spotty is not Scotty, and half the gang are lasses. Woke gone mad it is. Grrrr.

I'm not sure if this genuine paranoia about them being ruled by black and white bastards is unique. A club and city so utterly defined by their neighbours to the extent their sole reason for existence is schadenfreude on said neighbours. Nearest I can think of is in Glasgow with Rangers and Celtic, where there was genuine masonic oppression occurring over the Catholic workforce. But that was absolutely real (historically, not so much now). And Celtic aimed to beat Rangers, not vicariously pray for their defeat by a third party. Liverpool and Manchester might be another come to think about it, with Liverpool being geographically disadvantaged and resenting the unofficial title Manchester has of capital of the North. Tbh I think they've got a point though, and anyway it's a proper rivalry at a regional level. Once you understand that a sizable amount of mackems really do believe "Never be ruled by black and white bastards" it just falls into place that we are just and righteous in calling them sad mackem bastards. They're ridiculously paranoid over everything; inward investment, infrastructure, the airport, the metro, and now even their own club. Its actually quite detrimental to the whole region. We'll never get devolution because those sad bastards simply won't accept Newcastle is the de facto regional capital and we need to play to that. And thus the resentment goes both ways, but is much more unhealthy from the mackems and this is now amplified a hundred fold by the massive gulf in the football clubs currently. What're you going to do? Me, I like just laughing at them. It's a perfect tonic and just makes our success all the more enjoyable.