catmag

Face? She has a face? (Is that convincing??)

Thanks for the sympathy you fuckers MF - she looks like that bird from S Club 7

Never mind you lot perving over some binty woman! The bairn threw himself backwards thinking the big cushion on the settee was behind him. Unfortunately for me I was inbetween him and the cushion and he full-force headbutted me on the bridge of my nose. Don't think I've ever felt pain like it and I've only just stopped crying about 3 hours later. Black eyes and everything..

A quote from Kate McCann's book: "Madeleine was hard not to love" However, she was easy to leave in an apartment at 3 years old with her 18-month old siblings. Complete and utter negligence for which they are paying the highest price

Can't believe Marc wasn't allowed to watch the darts last night. He never even mentioned darts last night

I'm watching it too. Gaga is the biggest lunatic ever but I can't help but like her..

Just been reading about this and was horrified. Really don't know what to say

That specific surgery sounds dodgy as fuck and is banned in this country. Her boobs are constantly growing and I seriously think at some point she'll end up with serious medical problems that could kill her. All for attention and money..

Oops, my mistake - we've got Lawrence Dallaglio cooking first

She must be crippled by backache like. She's on in a couple of minutes if anyone's watching. Genuine question - is it even remotely attractive? It's just completely freakish to me

Any of you boys watching crap morning telly? There's a...*ahem* BIG treat on This Morning later...

We are both in the doghouse then (Hubby still hasnt forgiven me for slicing a mole off his neck with the shavers and then laughing at his (lack of) eyebrows all over again I'm on haircut duty tonight. Mental note made to be careful!

Does cat sick count?

Quiet in here tonight. Is everyone out doing something exciting while I'm stuck in like a sad mother?

You've got some gall! Well your jokes are shit!

Unfortunately sometimes gallstones/kidney stones are just one of them things that you don't know you've got until it starts to move and floors you completely. We take gallbladders out every day at work so the gallstones thing is pretty common.

Absolutely fine here like.

Nah, just us blokes and our dogs Plenty of you dirty dogs in here!

Oh and just for the record, Bagley and George are watching me eat a bacon sarnie, Mildred is asleep upstairs and Florence is stalking a bird from the wrong side of the patio doors. All perfectly chilled and normal...

Soooo then. Anything going on in here?

You're getting all Roy Walker on us again! Pm please..

I flew Heathrow to Sydney and international check in was 3 hrs before.

True (Henry Cooper) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/otherspor...es-aged-76.html RIP

Why watch every minute of it then? I stopped reading your tweets cos your cynicism was pissing me off. You will not ruin my happy wedding mood!!