thebrokendoll

i'm sure somewhere deep in the bowels of the world wide web there's some glowing danish scouting reports on frank pingel. and rightly so, he had the enviable goal ratio of 1 in 14

have you noticed anybody driving around in a brand new ferrari who 5 months ago had a knackered mk1 polo? maybe someone who in july lived in a hoffenheim bedsit and now has a castle in bavaria? do hoffenheim fc have a couple of brand new stands this season?

i'm not sure if that was directed at me?? i don't think any fucker in their right mind would value him at that. what astounds me is how it's not being investigated.

i might be missing the glaringly obvious mate but i'm still not getting it. benitez was out of contract anyway, they'd already pissed him off plenty of times previously and could've done so again without going to the supposed expensive of forking out £40m for a player he didn't rate. fucking hell, they could've knocked a few noughts off the end and brought in charlie wyke, i'm sure that would've pissed off rafa too!

it all defies any kind of logic or reason. there's absolutely fuck all to suggest from his previous clubs that an outlay of a fraction of £40m (i know) was warranted. no compettition for his signature. who the fuck scouted him? was it nickson? has he been sacked? seriously, what would be his sell on value as it stands? we would've been infinitely better off going for lewis grabban, and i'm not even slightly taking the piss.

i'm genuinely struggling now to think of a worse signing in the 50+ years i've watched this shit show. the fact that his fee supposedly doubled our previous record outlay, (i know) although not the lads fault, only compounds it. i remember us back in the 80s paying a then club record for billy whitehurst, who was shite, but who inexplicably hit a bit of purple patch and knocked in about 7 goals in 10 games or so before being utter shite again! i've seen absolutely nowt to think joelinton can replicate the feat of billy the fridge.

looks like the majority of the free ticket mags have already fucked off.

£10m? not a fucking chance. he's not worth what we paid stoke for joselu.

all's not lost yet. joey linton could quite easily get a hattrick.

belter.

what a surprise.

wants to match the rest of the team in terms of possession.

well, normally i'd accept your amendment, however we have hope. in carrollsy (or whatever other shite name bruce has bestowed on him) we have someone who's not only up there with brown ale and coal in geordie folklore, but is also the best striker in the premiership. at something. but not scoring goals. an upset is on the cards.

bruce's lads on a bit of a slump after previously steamrolling all and sundry put before them take on brendan rodgers whose team is making a decent fist of competing with man city to be best of the rest. looks like a banker away win? well not necessarily, local hero andy thanks to some longer screws in his ankle will win the most headers ever recorded in world football. by virtue of the 2,000,000 opportunities this will.afford £40m super striker joey linton, he'll score one, some how. 1-0 to the free ticket mags.

hat doffed, you're doing a sterling job of winning new friends over on N.O.

aye, there's also fact that according to kenyon's brochure 'bruce has had unparalleled success in europe'

honestly mate, not even in my most wildest imaginations can i see how it's possible to compare carroll/almiron to shearer/bellamy, or the football currently being played under bruce being comparable to that of the team robson had finishing 4th, 3rd and 5th. i apologise if i've taken that last paragraph out of context.

no bother mate. i'm pleased ashley and bruce are realising your football dreams.

pretty much, aye. he had a reasonable game on saturday and you appear to be beside yourself, i genuinely think you need to rein it in a bit and i'm not being patronising. just out of interest, why do you think he was a free agent and there didn't appear to be a whole host of clubs queueing for his signature?

there's no dummy being spat out man, merely making observations. oh and the quote was 'a club that tries' i'm pleased you appear to be having your aspirations fulfilled on that score.

ah right. opta have only been doing their stuff for a couple of days, no wonder andy features so highly. carroll is here for two reasons... he cost fuck all. he could be spun to the profoundly stupid as a returning local geordie hero.

steve bruce never has been, isn't, nor will he ever be a top 6 manager. we've fluked our way to half our points this season and the majority have come via an almost surreal goal scoring record from defenders. the wheels are starting to come off, by the end of january we'll be closer to the bottom 3 than 6th. i'm not entirely sure why you think dummy's are being spat out? we had a manager who was capable of securing a top 6 spot, a one who recognised that spunking £40m (i know) on a utter pile of shite as the poacher you refer to wasn't the answer. surely recognising these things isn"t something to be mocked?

impressive. how does he rate as a goal scorer/minutes on the pitch since opta starting doing their stat thing?

oh, and i get not a small amount of pleasure out of the thought of 10,000 Free Ticket Mags trundling home chuffed to bits with their new, well earned gift from the lovely and considerate duo of charnley and bruce.

tragically indifferent to a newcastle win or loss these days. however i make an exception for this. i detest these bitter scouse cunts with a passion normaly only reserved for ashley and previously thatcher. hope the cunts all get a puncture on the m62.