MMXXVIII

He makes me think of a tortured pianist who's been thrown into The Shining. I hope he keeps his job.

Aye I'd settle for a draw and the away fans not killing anyone.

Saving the performance up for Chelsea.

Another masterstroke from the tactical mastermind that is Eddie Howe. He learnt from here he'd been dragged round Costco and appreciated what that does to a man.

Probably couldn't have said that at a worse time.

Botman's distribution is fucking excellent.

Played well in very short, unsustained spells but it seems to be enough for these. Impressed with Willock.

Ooo's Simon Bird?

I popped mine to Beverley in Kenton. She hasn't gone on to bigger and better things and I like to think I contributed to that. Your mate's a legend.

I don't know why they're even contemplating it - they're more likely to get relegated than promoted any time soon.

5:30pm kick off on a Saturday means thousands of pissed-up Geordies going radge. Atmosphere will be electric, I fancy this one more than Southampton away.

What was the name of the pub? Asking for a mate.

Possibly but I think the cunt's just getting on everyone's wicked now. I'll be surprised if he sees the season out.

Great stuff but I'm now even more frustrated at our result there. We'll just have to bring the universe in sync when they come here.

I feel like we've learnt from the Palace and Bournemouth games. They contained us like they did, but I always felt Villa weren't leaving without a scudding today.

Put some porn on to distract you.

Na just first goal, Longstaff with the others.

Evokes images of Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas but if there were catheters.

6-0 Trippier.

Not sure who the lesser evil is.

Ekitike not happy at PSG 😒

Hope this is helping all the women reading.

Makes me think of a Brass Eye episode. Here are the graphs. If you plot them against intelligence of all board members, an interesting thing begins to happen - the word SPORTSWASHED begins to flash. Or something like that.

Eeeeeee iiiiiiii eeeeeee iiiiiiiii eeeee iiiiii oh. Up the Premya League we go. Fucking magnificent.

Cunt tried to head the shot away as well. Natural collision, fuck off.