MMXXVIII

You're our bar now.

Mate of mine is a manager there and today was the first he heard of it. Mackems stirring?

I read that through the singing voice of Cliff Richard to great amusement. Anyway, I feel like returning the favour - try the Wim Hof breathing technique and give it a week.

Or builds character. Depends on how you take it. I'm at a point where I think I can hurt a foot with my bollock's forward defence. We'll win the FA Cup now.

All the things mentioned there ring a bell and I know you aren't talking shite. You abstained from tac and are bragging.

When you know you're lush the opponents don't register. Now I've had enough trauma to set me back I'm gonna cling to the Liverpool penalty shoot-out in the 80s like darling Jack at the end of Titanic.

Was a tournament English football authorities thought a good idea late 80s at Wembley. We won a penalty shoot-out, I listened to it but I don't remember who we beat. Anyway it's 4 now.

I've seen us win 3 penalty shoot-outs since the late 80s and one of them was the Zenith Data Systems Doylums or something at Wembley and I only count it in an optimistic mood. Our success rate has to be fucking rank.

I was in southern Spain when it went to pens with England vs Colombia. A pissed up daft English cunt tried to [foolishly] claim England were the worst side in the world at penalty shoot-outs. Thankfully I was in earshot and he's probably talking about me now.

I found myself hoping his release clause would be triggered upon reading it'd been added because I'm psychotic, but some things are priceless and the emotional Bruno does give our squad that feminine energy. It's important Miley grows up with balance so I'd keep Bruno and do wonders in the creche bit of the P&L

Aye wey there aren't many lads in that vocation to rip off are there, thanks to fucking THATCHER.

Stoke is the most backward place I've ever been, and I often took the slides at Crowtree in the 90s marra.

I didn't expect that. Happy to take the education. Love owt like this.

I've heard of The Gremlins. Learned scholars all of them. NME was a magazine trying to promote homosexuality via Damon Albarn. The Bender Squad though, are you in that?

Wirey little cunt with Chron's. Might be his USP, he might have made it up too. 'Tis the age. Anyway he specialises in getting attention. Ach.

Was CosCoin probably. I got invited months ago, blatant ponzi. I hope they all didn't borrow too much.

It worked.

Tbf we're more clandestine nowadays. CCP psychological. Infiltrating and weakening over time. It's why I've been shoving my spunk down an Easington bitch's throat for months. Anyone else doing their part?

I feel like he went home tonight 'black as the ace of spades' and his mam went radge.

Makes sense. You'd want to limit a recovering gambling addict's inside info.

Apparently there are free buses to this and you'll only get your ticket once on one. So how are we meant to kick their heads in before kick off? They've not thought this through at all. Farce.

When I was a bairn I heard tales of old cunts going to both depending on who was at home. I think humans can't function without challenges and post WW2 they were provided without effort so tribalism prevailed and we pretended to like them. However, that accent would have been accepted through gritted teeth and I can't have their annoyance going unrevenged whilst we enjoy the pleasures of sleeping with their women in Easington twice a month, sometimes three or one. I'm well up for it already. Lucky bewer.

You cannot measure special relationships - they transcend the physical.

Is that bastard Shola still stealing a living from us using a title that alleges he's involved in this shit?

Corruption only exists at SJP as the geopolitical experts in South Hylton know, er, full well.