Dr Kenneth Noisewater

In a nutshell.

The Pelican Brief is on in a minute, is it worth staying up for? I normally like a Denzel movie but I've heard this one's a bit pap. Hurry up, btw.

Richards is no.2, but it certainly looks like him.

I noticed they were on sale on the 2nd of January. It's a rolling 12-month cycle: Easter eggs til April, then barbecue stuff til September. A month of so of halloween gubbins, then the Christmas stuff comes out again. Repeat ad infinitum.

This. And yet they still have a victim complex and love to wallow in self pity. The cunts.

No, that's just on Sky and Virgin. Surely it would be worth channel Five's while to pick it up.

No, that's just on Sky and Virgin. Surely it would be worth channel Five's while to pick it up.

It's Benitez fault the squad is shite. 12 of the 14 who played in their CL win were already there when he arrived. His appalling transfer record (with the exception of Torres) has been responsible for the squad being gradually weakened the longer he has been there, as well as an absolute fortune being wasted. Their spending is second only to Man City over the last three transfer windows.

Itv have decided not to pick up the option for series three on peasant television. Too busy showing lowest common denominator shite for thickies who only want to see someone deluded make an arse of themselves or a 'celebrity' going through a bodily function. Is it any wonder I have to download stuff?? Don't suppose any other freeview channels show it do they?

The Shef Wed template is alright, I could live with that. I'd rather stick with adidas or have the Umbro tailored shirts tho. At least it's not Donnay or Lonsdale.

Decent basic transport and you can't fall off at the value. A lot, lot closer to the european marques than the early Korean efforts. The latest Hyundai's are good too. Obviously the likes of Audi & BMW still have the prestige, but I can't understand someone wanting a Peugeot or a Renault when Kia and Hyundai can do offers like this. I've got a job now where nine times out of ten I can walk to work, therefore a reliable, sensible car isn't strictly necessary. I may need someone to talk me out of buying an Alfa...

$1.99? That's good value.

The banks. Made for each other!

His kids must've moved back up here have they?

Not being able to land our targets has been the story of the past ten transfer windows tbh Aye its just M'Bia, Ebondo, Johnson all over again. But then I would question if Ashley etc really want to sign them or the plan all along is to appear that we are. This.

F5 is your friend.

Darlington game off again, waterlogged pitch this time. They've not played since 12th December. Going out of business I'm afraid.

I'm going for Villa and Forest if we're doing it.

BUMP. After the FA cup/weather breaks are we continuing with this this weekend?

Tamsin Grieg. Far removed from my usual type, but definitely something about her. Put me down for Liza Tarbuck and Rebecca Adlington too.

Yeah, 5live. In the words of Champ Kind: It's anchorman, not anchorlady. They don't belong in the newsroom.

The woman commentators voice just grates on me. Not sure if that's deep seated latent sexism or if she just has an annoying voice.

Boro have attempted to sign the Togo national team goalkeeper after misunderstanding news from africa that he was a good shot stopper.

Well done kidda

I've had that texted twice. The top and bottom of it is you can't trust these third world mugs, especially the most wank of the third world nations where they have a monkey holding a pineapple on their flag. No World Cup should be in Africa or Asia, if it was up to me every world cup would be in Northern Europe it's the only chance on minimalising the terrorist threat. As soon as the draw was made I said the south africans better be ready for al-qaeda. England-USA is a dream scenario for them.