Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Blubbing at that Bobby Robson clip again.

We've just been to Royal Quays at North Shields, theres a Puma shop, Reebok and others but no Adidas, walked away in disgust tbh, I'll be making the trip down the A19 to Dalton Park from now on. I wouldn't like, it's fucking awful. However it has a fuck off big Adidas shop with everything about half price. I know man but it's shit. The one on the York ring-road is good, McArthur Glen I think its called.

Radio fivemerseysidelive excelling themselves again for the liverpoo - Arsenal game: Presenter: Northern Irish liverpool fan Colin Murray Commentator: Northern Irish liverpool fan Alan Green Co-commentator: Danish liverpool fan and former player Jan Molby Still, I'm sure the bias will be evened out on the 606 phone-in afterwards. Presented by liverpool-supporting cockney spoony.

Boro lose at home again. Cardiff up to third.

Fenwicks window and my arse will be in alignment if that happens.

A new story or just the Mail dressing up one of Stevie's posts from 10 months ago?

We've got 3 cats to go with the 2 weiner dogs. Both are cool, but while the dogs are more trouble, the cats are less accessible. You gotta put in a lot of time with a cat before it warms up to you, whereas a dog is almost immediately your best friend. How does the balance of power work out there? Can a large domestic cat overpower a small dog? I'd guess not. Ehhh... define "overpower." Really, the current ruler of the roost is our six month old female dachshund puppy and she's the smallest by far of the whole bunch. Two of the cats are freakishly large, one is basically average. They're all sweethearts though. Do they ever play fight? I'm just wondering if a large cat could pin down a sausage dog or some other small breed of canine? I reckon even the smallest dog is stockier and has more muscle on its frame than a large house cat.

That's a bit more of a step than going to see a film. Where did you go, and why did you go by yourself? Was it a holiday that your mates weren't interested in or are you a sex tourist?

Reggie, not George W.

The Outhere Brothers one, purely for the bloke who stood up and shouted 'Toon Toon Toon, let me hear you say Why Aye!' at the match at the time it was out. Everyone ignored him unfortunately.

Real shame, but I don't see any point in suing Wright-Phillips. He's not a malicious player and certainly wouldn't be out to end someones career.

We've got 3 cats to go with the 2 weiner dogs. Both are cool, but while the dogs are more trouble, the cats are less accessible. You gotta put in a lot of time with a cat before it warms up to you, whereas a dog is almost immediately your best friend. How does the balance of power work out there? Can a large domestic cat overpower a small dog? I'd guess not.

Because an insurance quote is based on factors of risk, not sex. The facts show that women have more crashes than men but they're usually little bumps, whereas men crash less often, but when they do it tends to be a spectacular (and expensive) blaze of glory.

The manager has been suspended for allegedly nutting one of his players.

Danger Ranger & Goala Ameobi.

Firstly I don't know if they did, but I and many others disagree with that assertion, certainly you could find more people, football people with the same thing to say about Gerrard. Zidane and Vieira once said Scholes was the best in the world too, and that was also a load of bollocks, even though he was good. The next bit, I answered before he's been no where nearly fully fit all season, in a very very average side. You need momentum and fitness to play your best football as anyone who watches the game understands. Cavallier runs and mindless chasing eh?????? Eriksson played him in a 442 and particularly in Germany in 2006, it was clear he was far too restricted and far too bound by tactics allowing Lampard the one to be more expressive which didn't fuckin work neither. Capello has found a system to get the best out of both. Surely this completely voids your argument saying that if Torres says that Gerrard is the best in the world then he must be right? I've seen players with no fitness or no momentum come straight into teams and be utterly brilliant. Ronaldo at the 2002 World Cup for example. Totti at Roma recently (scored a hat trick in the first 28 minutes after his come back from a 2 month injury vs. Bali) There are certainly a lot of people in British football who would said Gerrard is the best midfielder in the world, but outside of England? I'm not so sure. It's not too dissimilar to how many British football fans see Francesco Totti as an overrated player. A bastion and irrefutable influence for his club side, and regarded as one of, if not the best player in his league, but his lack of brilliant performances on the World Stage along with his refusal to leave his childhood club for greener pastures (Totti - Real / Milan, Gerrard - Chelsea) mean that bar odd moments of genius, he has a limited reputation over here. Totti's reputation is ruined by his spitting at players and cheating.

I always remember a game from my childhood where Glenn Hoddle was a step, no, a gulf away from everybody else on the pitch in terms of ability. He seemed to be able to float along effortlessly with the ball attached to his foot. It was also my first game in the Gallowgate, maybe that's why it sticks in my mind.

Typical civil service attitude

Isn't it true that when Phoenix Nights won the Bafta or Comedy Award for best comedy writers he insisted on going on stage to collect it by himself and didn't give Spikey or Jeff any credit? His Top of the Tower dvd was funny and had a very broad appeal but he's not done anything funny since. He might find it difficult to recapture that magic. As an aside, Paddy McGuinness is woefully untalented. The worst headline stand-up I've seen by a country mile, and I've seen loads.

We have now! Night everyone.

Have we been on the Football League Show yet?

Borrrrr-ing.

There's only one Fabric Pancake, one Fabric Pancake...

£40000 from every household in the country to prop up the banks (who are still wanting to pay themselves massive bonuses) but fuck all for the steelworkers. Not many with the right old school tie working on the blast furnace I guess.