Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Is a smelly pirate hooker.

Did Adebayor run the length of the bus to celebrate in front of the gunners again?

Why is that? Absolutely no idea but it is.... Seems crazy that a country that has it's own F1 team and has had 24 drivers in the sport's 60 year history makes the sport illegal. It was banned in 1955 after a crash at Le Mans where a car went into the crowd, disintegrated, and killed 80-odd spectators. Three or four other european countries banned motor sport temporarily until safety standards were raised. I think the Swiss did eventually lift their ban a couple of years ago.

TR, you've done exactly the right thing by going to the docs and getting it looked at sharpish. The ladies are so much better at that than us blokes who tend to ignore things and hope they clear up by themselves. Keep your chin up pet.

What if a bloke took his kids to school in his boxers and an old t-shirt?

This. He could never come back under the current regime anyway.

I've seen lasses with their pyjamas & slippers on and a coat over the top taking their offspring to school. I also saw a lass going into an off-licence, in all the snow & ice, in the middle of the day recently, 'jamas on under her coat. Classy.

Is he ill or do you just not like him? My thoughts are with you TR.

Robert Lee's son is on the bench for West Ham this afternoon. Fuck me, that makes me feel old.

The BBC are running a trailer for the finale at the minute. What is the music on it, is it the Libertines?

You got the Jamie Oliver app for the iPhone? well worth it J69 can only get a Fanny Craddock app for his phone, fuming.

Making a bit of a farewell statement before coming here no doubt.

He's got four now.

Emre never won me over, his spell here was very disappointing imo. Has he remained a perma-crock since he left or has he gone on to be an ever-present for his new club? I reckon Boyd would score a shitload at championship level, bearing in mind Shola can bang them in in this league.

You're not allowed to pick 'big four' clubs mate.

Meeting Meenz around 3.30-4ish, will probably go to Tilley's before then Trent after- will probably be grabbing some food in town as well. I'm going to try to say Hello tomorrow as well. Where you going for foods? I'd be up for that. Fish, you're making it too easy

What they probably should do is let Hammond go off and do his kids shows, May go and do his science programmes and Clarkson do, er, a car review show. Then they could get together once or twice a year and do one of the epic road trip adventures.

If the stories about Kilgallon coming in January a right, I'd expect Colo and/or Taylor to be leaving.

Footage of the last passengers who sat next to Rob:

Man City and Leeds.

Likewise.

I've said that on numerous occasions in the past

We're not talking Ambrosia here, proper semolina powder. I boiled the potatoes, let them drain for a few minutes, sprinkled on a tablespoon of semolina powder, gave them a good shake and cooked them in duck fat. Spot on! I think Nigella or Heston Blumenthal or Tom Parker-Bowles does it. Adds to the surface area and makes them more crunchy. I also did a tray of carrots & parsnips lightly fried in butter and ground nut oil, then roasted with fresh sage and wedges of red onion. A triumph, even if I do say so myself.