Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Keith Allen in sweary tv shocker. I hear they gety a black bus driver to lose them and film the tourettic racial abuse that ensues. I enjoyed "You're Fayed" where he followed Mohammed al Fayed around

Keith Allen documentary where he take a bus load of tourettes sufferers to France. Also catches up with the lad from the QED 'John's Not Mad' programme from the eighties. Could make interesting viewing. Channel 4, 10pm.

Er, now I've downloaded it what do I do with it / where do I put it?

Shares in businesses on Rodeo Drive to go through the roof tbh.

Cheers Pud, that looks to be what I'm after.

Aye moi aussi.

Car accident when he was a nipper. Could play in the Wonky Head XI with Ribery.

One slice of toast, buttered, with the beans on. Two slices of toast (left to go cold before buttering so butter stays on top rather than soaking in) cut in half diagonally round the edge. Bit of Worcester sauce then maybe some grated cheese or a fried egg on top. Other than that I'm not fussy.

Wicked good or wicked bad Bad, he hasn't been here that long you know. Bad good or bad bad?

Half a million quid a week for five years? £125million for a player past 30 and obviously on the decline. Obscene.

Finance expert on the radio reckons tracker will be the best way to go for most people in the coming year.

Agreed. My last two deals have been fixed rate two year contracts. I'm more likely to look at variables this time because you risk being stuck on the higher rate if and when interest falls again. I'm with the Nationwide but apparently they have stopped offering the same deals to existing customers that new customers get. So they might be getting kicked into touch. What, so for brand new customers only? Yeah, I bet we won't be seeing that advert again. Twats.

Agreed. My last two deals have been fixed rate two year contracts. I'm more likely to look at variables this time because you risk being stuck on the higher rate if and when interest falls again. I'm with the Nationwide but apparently they have stopped offering the same deals to existing customers that new customers get. So they might be getting kicked into touch.

Surely there is already a pay as you drive system? Its called fuel duty. Another excuse to hammer motorists to cover up shrtfalls elsewhere. And a definite vote-loser.

My fixed rate finishes in the summer. I'm not sure there is a need for financial advisors these days. I used one once and found the exact same deal in about 5 minutes using price comparison sites. He was a slimey turd as well.

Centreback. See David Kelly's post in that case.

What about Teesside?

Is he a fullback or a centrehalf?

Seems to be the way for most clubs, not just us in the January window: very little movement for the first three weeks followed by a week of frenzied panic phone-calls. I believe its called 'planning'.

Does anyone use Open Office Writer instead of Word? And if you do, do you know how to clear the 'recent documents' list?

They are renowned as 'Divine Righters' so its no great surprise.

Read this article in the Sunday Telegraph. It was the last paragraph that caught my attention. First I'd heard of it, anyone know who the thick twat is?

Good.