Dr Kenneth Noisewater

One slice of toast, buttered, with the beans on. Two slices of toast (left to go cold before buttering so butter stays on top rather than soaking in) cut in half diagonally round the edge. Bit of Worcester sauce then maybe some grated cheese or a fried egg on top. Other than that I'm not fussy.

Half a million quid a week for five years? £125million for a player past 30 and obviously on the decline. Obscene.

Finance expert on the radio reckons tracker will be the best way to go for most people in the coming year.

Agreed. My last two deals have been fixed rate two year contracts. I'm more likely to look at variables this time because you risk being stuck on the higher rate if and when interest falls again. I'm with the Nationwide but apparently they have stopped offering the same deals to existing customers that new customers get. So they might be getting kicked into touch. What, so for brand new customers only? Yeah, I bet we won't be seeing that advert again. Twats.

Agreed. My last two deals have been fixed rate two year contracts. I'm more likely to look at variables this time because you risk being stuck on the higher rate if and when interest falls again. I'm with the Nationwide but apparently they have stopped offering the same deals to existing customers that new customers get. So they might be getting kicked into touch.

Surely there is already a pay as you drive system? Its called fuel duty. Another excuse to hammer motorists to cover up shrtfalls elsewhere. And a definite vote-loser.

My fixed rate finishes in the summer. I'm not sure there is a need for financial advisors these days. I used one once and found the exact same deal in about 5 minutes using price comparison sites. He was a slimey turd as well.

What about Teesside?

Does anyone use Open Office Writer instead of Word? And if you do, do you know how to clear the 'recent documents' list?

Best way,have no sleep on your first day looking ahead to nights,then you'll sleep like a baby is supposed to(minus the crying etc) Waking up every two hours screaming and soiling himself?

Whoz dat? One of Girls Aloud, ain't it? The lovely Kimberley, best of the bunch.

Are you getting unsociable hours pay? Time-and-a-third at least. Nights are alright as long as you are doing them permanently and can get into a routine. Rotating Days, twilight and nights is a bastard though.

Her first question th the 'jeweller': How much did it cost? Says it all really.

Download Helper or VideoDownloader

15 gets bonus points for the word "doyle", the most Teesside word in existence.

Couple of new ones: Tintin 15 Tintin 16

Thankfully I'm not bum enough to turn up and stand in that crowd. However, if that spawny fucking cretin gave me that kind of abuse, I'd vault the fence and pagger the little gork. It would be worth every single kick off them big blokes around him. Not that they looked much like they wanted to protect him, mind. Pagger , haven't heard that in years.

I've inherited a new pc over new year, a step up in terms of memory, power and speed over my previous one. What I need to know is what is worth putting on it in terms of software? Is XP's own firewall sufficient or should I go for something else? Best free anti-virus program? Some seem to think AVG won't be free for much longer but they seem to have an up-to-date free version on their site. Other recommendations for media players, firefox extensions and anything else useful gratefully received.

Try this instead if you feel like going in goal...... I'm allergic to them What about these then?

I wouldn't bother with Chicago or L.A If you're doing the west coast San Diego is nice.

Haven't had a proper pair of boots since school. Adidas Sambas for five-a-side.

Saw the little fella on Jonathan Ross, he looks to be fully mended. Good on you Hamster, you've been fucking lucky. Roll on the new series!

This is just get fookin scary noo. Which shed? Not so keen on being the peep-ee rather than the peep-er eh mate?