Dr Kenneth Noisewater

A woman comes home, and finds her husband in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams "You promised me you wouldn't cheat again!" The husband replies " For fucks sake, can't you see I'm trying to cut down?"

That's the badger. @yourservice, is that took from the top of Manors car park? Cheers btw Sammy

I've never heard anyone blame NUSC/T for the relegation either Mac-Toon. I'm dubious that 99.8% voted for trust status or would've voted voted for trust status if they knew what that entailed, although I must admit, I can't even remember the vote.

Someone had posted a pic of light trails on the central motorway. I've looked for it in the Photography forum but I can't find it. Would someone care to point me in the right direction?

I always used to say 'Come on, you fuckers!' as the ref blew for kick-off. Stopped working about the same time that Souness arrived strangely enough.

Formula 1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone remains as sharp-witted and busy as ever – even though later this week he will celebrate his 80th birthday. Although Ecclestone joked with a few journalists on Saturday that the only birthday present he wanted was 'just getting there', Red Bull Racing made sure to give him something a bit extra special on race morning. After turning up in the Red Bull garage, Ecclestone was presented with his very own unique walking frame – just in case he ever needed any help in getting around. The frame featured a Red Bull Racing front wing, some cans of the energy drink and a very special steering wheel that featured buttons for: Viagra, power, nurse, lawyer, accountant and his assistant Pasquale Lattuneddu. Red Bull Racing team principal Christian Horner and driver Sebastian Vettel were on hand to give Ecclestone his gift – which he took in good humour.

You do know who we're playing this weekend don't you K-Dawg?

Took a dyslexic girl home last night. She ended up cooking my sock.

Another slice? Don't mind if I do.

Officially the worst fans in Europe. FACT-A-LAMA-DING-DONG.

That's quite a range (rover).

I'm sorry, but a chrome-plated Range Rover? Wants locking up by the taste police.

Now if only NUST had asked questions like that...

Can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink and all that... Just shows how ahead of the curve I was with all this. Once it became apparrent that opposition was not going to change anything they should have taken my advice and built on the good will and member base and delivered a really good supporters club. (something that tbf is scandalous a club like ours does not have). Instead, madness descended, ego battles commenced and I dare say without any change in direction, NUST will vanish without a trace very soon. Its probably a shame that they did not hold the elections, prior to membership renewal, as this would have allowed members to stand who offered something different. Now its probably on mates and apathetics who are left and as such there will be no change. Shame when all is said and done. I have to say I totally agree with you. Me too. The idea of a decent supporters club is a good one, but egos seem to have ran away with it now. It goes without saying that I didn't renew. But if people renew and put forward their thoughts the council, and also vote them out, then surley you act upon how you feel? I didn't join a supporters trust though mate, I joined a supporters club. What (I think) they are now offering doesn't appeal to me regardless of who is playing Napoleon.

Can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink and all that... Just shows how ahead of the curve I was with all this. Once it became apparrent that opposition was not going to change anything they should have taken my advice and built on the good will and member base and delivered a really good supporters club. (something that tbf is scandalous a club like ours does not have). Instead, madness descended, ego battles commenced and I dare say without any change in direction, NUST will vanish without a trace very soon. Its probably a shame that they did not hold the elections, prior to membership renewal, as this would have allowed members to stand who offered something different. Now its probably on mates and apathetics who are left and as such there will be no change. Shame when all is said and done. I have to say I totally agree with you. Me too. The idea of a decent supporters club is a good one, but egos seem to have ran away with it now. It goes without saying that I didn't renew.

Be a bit much on the day he's announcing all the cut-backs.

Polo. The Fabia, Seat Ibiza and new little Audi (A1?) are all re-badged Polo's The Skoda Octavia, Seat Leon and A3 are all Golfs underneath. The Octavia is the A4 / Passat isn't it? I know the A3 /Golf & Leon are all basically the same car (The Sharan is a Golf Plus too IIRC) but the Octavia is then next class up I'm sure. Having said that, I dont own one so I could be wrong. They just look that size. The Skoda Superb platform-shares with the Passat and A4. The Octavia does look bigger than the other three though, I think it has a bigger rear overhang (the boot is massive). If you're ever in an Octavia you'll notice that the switches and vents are all in exactly the same position as the Golf (and the A3 & Leon). The wiring looms and hoses behind the dash must all be exactly the same, they just put a nicer fascia on if you spend more.

Polo. The Fabia, Seat Ibiza and new little Audi (A1?) are all re-badged Polo's The Skoda Octavia, Seat Leon and A3 are all Golfs underneath.

Just stuck 40 quid on it. I'll be sick if we do go down again, but if its going to happen I might as well have £180 out of it.

The more I think about this, the more I think it could be a runner. Al has said he wants to get back into management, and he wouldn't have to more his family if he got the Boro job. Should that have read move or whore as either could be applicable in smogville. Move. Spoken to a few teessiders today. Their narrow-minded insularity and inferiority complex where we're concerned appear to rule this out for most of them.

The more I think about this, the more I think it could be a runner. Al has said he wants to get back into management, and he wouldn't have to more his family if he got the Boro job.

Paul Ince is an ex-player and a young manager who's not working at the moment.

Source? Are are you just having your two peneth?

Joe fucking Kinnear must be nearly healthy... *shudders*

Aye just what we need another dour jock cunt in the dug out. Get Peter in. I like Hibs quite obviously they'll stagnate Calderwood for the forseeable future though. ITK totals in the last 12 month must be: Me 5 Craig 2 OC's 0 I knew that our new kit wouldn't be coming out til after the world cup before anyone else on here, and I also knew that Fernando Alonso would be driving a Santander-sponsored Ferrari 18 months before it happened (which I revealed in the F1 thread) so I'm claiming a half point each for them.