Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Probably a bit harsh on Nolan, but I like the look of that. I'd also be tempted to see what Sol looks like if Colo fucks around too much.

he is dear boy he is tell me who has a better record of results? John Carver: 100% win ratio.

If he gets the England job, his twitch will get even worse. they'll have to tether him down to interview him. When he was in that relegation battle at Southampton he was like a Tourettes sufferer who'd swallowed a handful of E's.

He has, smashed a couple of peices I had out. So, waited to speak to him. Said I was as bad as the people who persucuted him before! Feel a tad sorry for the old guy. So to clarify, he's moved his boundary over your (your families) side of the pitch, he's damaged your property and you feel sorry for him? No wonder people take you for a ride kidda.

They've lost from an invincible position against the aussies, they lost games to Bangladesh which resulted in them getting Test status (which should never have happened), they went from worst than shit in the first two Tests to walloping us in the third. Thinking about all the dropped catches and ridiculous batting in this series, than now looks suspicious. Who is to say at lunch on Friday they didn't decide to bowl away from the stumps at 80% to let Trott and Broad turn the match round completely? They can't play games in their own country due to security risks and now no-one will want to host them because their integrity is shot.

Consistency? (Your English is superb by the way). Where in Brittany are you? I spent a bit of time in Finistère in my younger days.

SkyBet were offering 16/1 on Carroll, Drogba, Torres and Tevez to all net over the weekend. I'd have been fucking fuming with Tevez after he casually missed that open goal against the filth.

Gotta be worth getting on a shirt Dick van Dogsdick for economy. spat me coffee out ye bassa!

Love these two. Where did you get your wolf shot?

Thanks JawD. It was at sunset. I'm not sure that its not a bit too red actually. Could probably do with a bit more trimming off the right side as well. Might have to have a go at it with LightRoom.

Phil Brown on MotD2, truly cringeworthy. It's not his fault it went wrong at Hull apparently, it was the people above him didn't understand him. He's been on "executive development" courses now, so he can understand how they think.

Bonnet de douche! Google Translate.

Bonsoir Pedrito. Est Ben Arfa aussi capricieux que Robert et Ginola? (Bonsoir Pedrito. Is Ben Arfa as temperamental as Robert and Ginola?)

Don't forget modesty and humility Leazes.

I quite like Moretti, it's crisp. Owned my Heineken iirc. Had Brahma on Friday night, tasted of nothing.

In Bruges. Good.

: An 18 year old with over 50 Test wickets. Why would he get involved with the future he had ahead of him? I guess if the senior guys are big into it and tell you that's what you're going to do, it's difficult for him not to go along with it. Pakistan finished as a Test nation.

Hes an old guy dude. What do you want me to do? Go and smash his face in with my spade? Anyways, Ive gone down tonight taken his fence panels down and moved my side on. So because he's old, he's allowed to treat you like a bitch? Come on you ponce, this pitch was your grandad's. Stand up to the cunt.

Pakistan 41-4 in their second innings at the end of play. An absolutely remarkable couple of days cricket. Gives the lie to those that say Test cricket is on its way out.

First time for everything I suppose.

My favourite thing about Bez is the line-up on the back of Pills n Thrills & Bellyaches: Shaun Ryder – vocals Paul Ryder – bass Mark Day – lead guitar Gary Whelan – drums Bez – vibes

Does the Metro have a higher standard of reader letters than the Chronicle? It doesn't have a Reader's Poem or Vent Your Spleen section, so no Was it Wacky or Smooth who was a bit of a poet on the side?

250-500 But I very rarely make calls, and if I do 90% of them are the "Where are we going? What time? Ok, see you there" type which are just as easy to do by text these days.

Should be made to do community service. In Afghanistan.