Ayatollah Hermione

I’ve woke up in some dodgy beds in my time but never in an actual swamp, fucking hell

That kid is going to be on the Sunderland talk-in scene in 15 years, isn’t he? “Tell is what you thought when you scored THAT goal?”

The “tight game” lucky charm continues. Will be a tight one this

Surely it’s Saint Max in for one or two mad blasts of energy before he has a month to recover. Willock-Bruno-Longstaff simply cannot be unmoved

He’ll barely play anyway. Southgate will play Kane in every minute no matter what

Brighton will have someone lined up to replace him tbh. That Japanese kid (can’t remember his name, I’m not being racist) looks quality and plays in a similar role

Didn’t realise we hit the post and the bar when we were already 4-0 up We are absolutely relentless

I think everyone just hates Klopp. Even Brett Platoon thinks he’s a cunt

Obviously you can’t ignore the money spent but I think there has to be a caveat in the sense that most of the money has been spent on the defence. Howe has got a tune out of the lads he inherited. Obviously Bruno’s influence Can’t be ignored but what he’s done to Almiron, Longstaff and the rest is actual sorcery. It’s the best football I’ve seen us play since I was about 14 and watching Robson’s team. But even then, you sort of knew there was a ceiling on what he could do. This feels like the beginning of something outrageously special and fuck me, it’s great isn’t it

If you take the dodgy VAR against Palace and Liverpool and put it toward our points, we’d be joint top. Against a team who has a striker that’s scored 17 goals ffs. Arsenal have been very good but we were two shit decisions away from being neck and neck with them

Lesser men than me have wanked to similar highlights of today. What a team. Eddie Howe is untouchable

If it’s in any better, I’m in Whitby and there’s loads of decent boozers and we’re going to get the match on someone’s phone. Just realised that all of that might not make you feel better

I like Japan’s stuff but even from listening to that, you get the sense that none of them would be good value on the lash

This page has made it abundantly clear that I don’t really know the rules of football anymore. “I might apply to be a ref!” I would quip, if I was sat on A Question of Sport

Are these jokers getting positions because they’re the only ones left or what?

Would love to be a fly on the wall when these arseholes get to work as heads of these departments. A three week crash course on what a Home Secretary actually is incoming

Every time I predict a tight game, we knock 4 past somebody so another tight game this.

Fish, when the Avengers are at full strength, does Captain America get to punch more aliens than Thor? If so, I think I know where your argument is based

That’s where, you’d hope, the intense youth recruitment drive will come good

Is the obsession over her ironic or what?

Think it’s fair to say that they’ve never really known

They have good players but we’re definitely making teams look poor because of the pressing and defending. Their lack of depth is pretty shocking though; lose Romero from their back line and it was shoddy

Seven stages of grief where all of them are denial

Aye, I was just laughing at the idea of us splurging massive money again and just hand waving it off. The fact we’ve got the pockets deep enough to do it is still taking some adjusting to

So, you’re saying another £200 million spent in January and then once we’re in the Champions League, all will be forgiven 😀